I have alot of issues- a parent had cancer, i get teased sometimes, i drink, i get in alot of trouble at school, im fat, my brother beats me up and verbally abuses me calling me a shitfaced, ugly ****...
We recently spent a week out of state visiting a couple out of state with whom my husband has been friends for over 20 years. They're like "family" to each other. I had never met the ...
I get really bored at night time, and I can not sleep. I can be extremely tired, but I just can't fall asleep. I can not think of things to do when I am able to go do things. It is like my whole ...
Am 21, been single now for the past 5 mnthz,work full time as a waitress (isnt the best job in the world but its ok), I have loadza friends and family that love me and my life isnt all that bad. So ...
My doctor gave me this today, and I wont be able to go to the pharmacy till Friday. But before getting the meds, I wanted to read up on it (its medicine for depression ) but I cant make out the words....
I've suffered from depression for 7 years now. I've had plenty of therapy, I've been on every combination of drugs possible (on what works best now), and I understand depression more ...
I guess I am average looking. I've heard that all girls want a guy with self confidence. I currently have a girlfriend and I like her ALOT, but I don't want to lose her because I have no ...
I currently self-harm by cutting my arms/legs with razor blades. I really want to stop but don't know how. I don't deal with stress well which is why I do it. I get a release when I'...
1st don't say get him help, he will not take it, once he lived at a state park in his truck to avoid help for alchol but straightened up and started a business then drank it away...my father is 6...
I have Borderline Personality Disorder. No matter what happens, good things, bad things, I cannot be happy about anything. I am always sad. No motivation. I am fat. I cannot seem to lose weight. I ...
well she had this friend that adored her but she would hug him and spend the night at his house in his bed and stuff.
But he said to me one day that he's going to bed her no matter how ...
Does my wife suffer from some kind of mental affliction?
Long story short. happy loving couple get married. All is well. 6 years later after 2 beutiful kids wife starts to change. Becomes less loving and affectionate. Surrounded by loving husband, parents, kids, social life and friends, finds less and less joy from family, and looks towards bar hopping with girlfriends, partying, drinking bit more, takes up smoking again, dibs into weed even.
Focusses more and more disdain, frustration towards husband and blames everything wrong in her life on me. Says everything else is great except me. Despite having good job, being very involved with kids and helping out around the house more than any other father we know, i become the lightning rod for al that frustrates her. She thinks if we separate everything will be great for her, and she wants to break up family. No finance, trust, affair, abusive, parenting, career or other typical problems, so what gives?
YES THEY ALL DO. BUT MIGHT BE 7 YEAR ITCH, MOST MARRIGES ONLY LAST 7 YRS, GET READY FOR DIVORCE HIDE MONEY (NOT IN BANKS) EMPTY OR TAKE LOANS OUT OF 4O1K, SEARCH FOR LAWYER AND WEB SITES FOR MENS RIGHT. START YOUR OWN LIFE DONT LET HER GET YOU DOWN OR THE FAILED MARRIGE DRIVE YOU INSAIN BE STRONG GOOD LUCK TAKE NOTES FOR DIVORCE COURT YOULL NEED ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET,
accesscard
I think it could be the 3 things you stated or it might be a addiction. You could try going to Al-non and see if you can relate. Just a suggestion.
Larry & Barbie
Man I've seen this before.
Seriously prepare yourself for a divorce.
She is bored and most likely cheating
I'm sorry
Kate
You don't mention your ages. Did you marry young? Did she have time to "sew her wild oats" before marriage? Having a new husband and two children under the age of 6 is tough on anyone much less someone who is still young and immature.
She may also be depressed and possibly even doing drugs stronger than weed such as meth which is one of the drugs young mothers get into because it gives them energy initially before it turns them into raving maniacs.
You need to speak to someone you trust such as a counselor. If you are as good as you say you are and she is behaving this badly, then the outlook is not good. You may have to take your children and move on.
I'm sorry and I wish you luck.
Sadie
I'm sorry about your wife and how she's treating you. Is she dead set on separating, or is she willing to try counseling? That could help a great deal and it's something to look into.
Also, if she is bar-hopping, drinking, etc. maybe she has a drug problem or something. Or perhaps she is depressed and that's how she drowns her sorrows. If she's going out more and more, maybe she is feeling a little tied down with family life.
Ultimatley, you need to sit down with her and ask her what the change is all about and see if she would be willing to get some professional help. Good luck to you.
Ya-sai
Go back to her childhood. Was she made to grow up fast. What I mean is, did she has a lot of adult responsibilities as a child. I've seen similar things before, these people, now too old for such things really, start behaving like spoilt children and start to take risk because they missed out on this in their youth.
Another idea, she just wants to swing and have a good time.
bobo
It sounds like depression and may be post-partum. The drinking only magnifies the problem. You both may have married young and she feels she missed out on her youth. She is focusing her angst on you because it is easier than looking inside for what the real cause of the problem is. Often women are raised (still) to think that they will marry Prince Charming (and you sound like the right man!) and live happily ever after but reality can be rather tame. She feels a void inside of her and is trying to fill it or avoid it with partying.
I would definately try the counseling route but don't treat it like she is the one with a problem treat it as a family problem. Good luck to you. I have a business call and have to go.
sethle99
I feel sorry for you. Is there any way that you could talk to some of her friends, not the ones she bar-hops with, about your problems? Do you have a pastor you could talk to? It sounds like a rought time. Good luck.
naute_girl
I think that she may be hurt or angry about something in the past. Before seprating I would ask her to seek counciling for herself and then for the both of you. If she will not try this the one thing that has helped me is going to a life enrichment boot camp.
Mikel
well....she is still ur wife
if you care about ur well being,hers and kids too
then do something about it
things cant continue the way u said
mother should be more at home with kids , caring and loving
father should be the same
if things didn't work
consider divodce for the betterment of kids at least.
Kamunyak
Maybe you could call a family therapist. Tell them of the situation and maybe they can help you. I am sorry for your situation. I hope you can get it get it resolved with out breaking up your family. Good luck and best wishes.
dsd
Seems like this woman wants out of the marriage and is doing everything possible for you to give up on her. The question though is why is she doing this. Look, you need a heart to heart with this woman to find out whats really going on and why she wants out. Thats all I can advise.
Feist
If she didn't start out that way...I don't think it's her. Maybe she's become uninterested in you? She desperately needs a counseller..and if it still isn't helping maybe you should seek and marriage counseller. Confront her one on one and ask her what the deal is. If the only thing she sees wrong is you, then I don't think it's depression of any sort. Maybe get your kids to talk to her? Ask her what kind of role model she thinks she's being by doing weed & barhopping with girlfriends. Happy Confronting!
sheila c
I know this is going to be a common answer, but have you suggested counseling? If you can afford it how about hiring a private investigator to follow her and see if another man is in the picture. Sometimes no matter what you do, you can't make someone happy. Have you heard the saying, "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was". So, as much as it may hurt, let her go, she may find out soon enough that she left a good thing. If she doesn't, come back, (don't wait forever) find someone to make you happy. Of course all this is easier said than done. Good luck.
baberae
She sounds self absorbed and immature. She finds it more gratifying to indulge herself than to act like an adult. mental illness? I doubt it. marriage didn't turn out to be what she had envisioned.
Beth M
It could be any of the disorders that you mentioned, probably not bipolar unless she has significant swings between manic and depressed states, and from what you wrote, it sounds like this has been an ongoing thing. The best advice I could give you is to go to your family doctor and ask for a recommendation to a family counselor/therapist. Talk tot the therapist about the relationship problems you two are having and work with the therapist to try and move forward. At the same time, have the therapist address her mental state and find a diagnosis.
Best of luck to you!
Tonya W
Did you guys get married at a young age? Was SHE very young when you married? That could be the reason. Maybe she wasn't really ready for the marriage. Some people are just not marriage material. Maybe she's just bored. Is she a stay-at-home mom? I would suggest have a heart-to-heart talk when her when she is sober. Maybe marriage counseling. Is she having a midlife crisis?
W0LF
People change. I wish the truth was more comforting. There could be a psychological reason for what she's doing but it doesn't change the fact that she's not the woman you married. I wish I could agree that there were no other problems but people don't become the source of someone's resentment ramdomly. You just don't understand why she's resentful of you.
Try Couples's therapy if you can get her to go. If she wants a seperation it could be a good bargaining chip.
If not fight the good fight in divorce court.
The First Dragon
Based on your description, it does sound as if there could be some medical or psychological disorder. This is really urgent due to the young children. Figure out some way to have her examined. Even call the police if she has weed in the house or car. (Don't touch it yourself, or you'll be in trouble.) I know this sounds harsh, but your family is at stake. Make sure she understands that you love her and you love the children. Also, you had better get a lawyer just in case. If the breakup happens, you want custody. I wish you the best.
di_ako_guapo
affliction is present.
but then, if your wife would really get out of her way.... afer all you've done.. that's a sad thing you have to deal with.
you may want to seek counsel.
Yahzmin (US)
Yes, there is obviously a problem here. The real question is do *YOU* want solutions -- or does *SHE*.
YOU cannot fix this problem alone. YOU cannot force her to go to a doctor for a diagnosis if she is suffering from a medical or emotional problem. YOU cannot force her into a drug program if her dipping into weed has now become something more serious (which is highly likely!!). YOU cannot even get her to go to a marriage counselor with you without generating more resentment.
I know you want to understand -- but that will not happen unless SHE gets help. And SHE will not get help unless she wants to. From what you say, she doesn't want to -- she just wants to run away from her responsibilities.
So, YOU need to (lovingly) let her know of your concerns, try your best to get her to do the doctor and / or counselor route -- and then prepare for a rough ride, because you need to think about the kids from now on, not her or even yourself. Take care of them first and make sure they don't get hurt anymore by this.
cbjr
Sit down and have a serious talk with her. if she's no longer in love with you and wants out, do you really want to remain with her? Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Find someone who would appreciate and respect you more.
It is quite possible that she is battling depression. people deal with it in various ways. See if she is willing to go to marriage AND individual counseling.
bikkerbabeee
i think you should try and get her to attend counseling with you. if she is unwilling then as hard as it sounds you must ask yourself, "is her behavior worth staying with?" mental health is an area that cannot be pinpointed in a few easy steps. see if she will go to counseling with you.
communication is the most important factor in a successful relationship, and it sounds like you need to work on those skills together.
Why is she unhappy with you? is it something she can put her finger on? did you marry young? perhaps the issue is not you at all and she is blaming you.
please try to get professional help.
if all else fails.. do not try to stay together for the sake of the kids..take it from me as a product of one of those relationships, it is better for the kids,-- to separate.
Wifa 4 Lifa
Sorry to hear that. Have you tried sitting her down and talking to her to find out whats the matter? From a womans point of view and as a wife/mother myself, it sounds like she might be regreting the life she chose with you thus seeking out adventure and living the single life again. Perphaps, you should try counseling if both sides are willing to make effort, if not I'm afraid that you are going to have do some soul searching and find out what you're going to do next for the sake of your children who need to come first. Stay strong, communicate with one another and go from there. I wish you luck!!
A. Grigs
Maybe your wife felt forced into "love" or what she thought was love and got so far into it she couldnt get out. And now she is starting to realize that she wants something different....thats one suggestion, or maybe she is going through like a mid life crisis and just wants to let loose...In any case, I dont think its you causing this, I think youre just an easy excuse! Maybe you should try counseling, she may not even really know what is going on herself!
poolxxxshark.my265
um you need a marriage councelor, it sounds like she wants some strange. She dont sound mental, she sounds unhappy. Mostly unhappy with you. if you dont get couceling it will only get worse, and shell be messing around on you.
Hufflepuff
Your wife doesn't sound like a mental nutcase if that's what you are thinking. She could be depressed. Or she could be bored with the relationship.
I would say get some marriage counseling. She might need some alone, too, if your counselor would recommend it. (one thing I'm not sure about is how you could make her come to counseling, although it's clear you need it--go alone to get some advice if she won't come.) If you are going to be spending the entire time fighting, though, this will hurt the kids, possibly even more than having separated parents.
Your wife could be heading towards a big drinking/drug problem also, since you mention that she has been bar-hopping a lot and has done weed. Maybe that's why she doesn't stop bar-hopping and such? Anyways, I would address that issue in any counseling you got. Also, her drinking/weed can be a real negative influence on your children.
*babydoll*
If all is going well as you say, and there is no financial or other trouble, she could just be selfish or wanted to go out with you more. I'd say she sounds like something is wrong (with her.) If I had all that...I wouldn't be bar hopping, no offense. I'm sure most would agree with me.
She needs help, and so do you, coz this isn't fair to you and the kids.
Mimi Di
Sorry to say, but she just may not be in love with you anymore-if she ever really was in the first place. There is no amount of counseling, cajoling, abitrating, mainipulating , threatening, or negotiating that will MAKE the human heart "fall" back into love with someone when they have fallen out.
This planet would be better off if we could all realize that not every relationship we have (even friends, siblings, etc.) are meant to be close and consistent for an entire lifetime.
Sometimes, we come together with someone to be able to give our children a ride to the planet so that THEY can live their lives. When our "arrangement" is fulfilled, couples begin to see their lives as something seperate from the "task companions" we may have married.
In each lover scenario there is always one who plays the Hopelessly Loving role while the other plays the Hopelessly Loved. You are obviously Hopelessly Loving your wife. And that leaves her...
It's very sad for the jilted partner when they really, really feel like this was their forever relationship. It's even sadder when the Hopelessly Loving tries dragging around the dead body of a marriage pretending it will comeback to life. Bury it. Mourn it. Cry about it. Then go back out into the world and find the person who you were REALLY meant to spend a lifetime with. And do your children a favor- don;t have several more kids making them feel like they were practice children getting you ready for your "real" family.
Do this and you will be delighted to find your fture EX still in your life as a wonderful friend and parental partner for your children. Continue to demand her affection and you will find a surly, unhappy, resentful woman who can;t wait to get away.
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