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Mike H
How can I get over my Anxiety issues?
Hey all,
I honestly never thought I would post something like this on a message board, but I feel like I'm out of options.
2 weeks ago, My girlfriend of 2 years and I became separated.
She dumped me because I have issues controlling my jealousy (most likely stemming from my extremely low self esteem) and because she just didn't feel the "spark" anymore. She also told me that she ahs feelings for one of our mutual friends.
Needless to say, I was hurt. I expected that. But there's something else going on.... I sleep over 9 hours a night now. All I do is think about her. I eat one meal a day, and If I try to push myself to eat more, I throw up. My work has become sloppy and disorganized, and I feel extremely tired at work as well, to the point where I think I'm going to faint.
The worst are the chest pains though. I feel constant pangs in my chest, which i can hardly bear. I don't want to be this way anymore. Does anyone know of ANYTHING I can do to alleviate the pain?
Im sorry about what your going threw and i hope things get better,just take it day by day and one day they will fall in to place.Things happen for a reason have you ever second guessed your self did she have feelings like you did??why was it dat easy for her to let you go and not for you to let her go,in my eyess i guess it shows that you cared more.So just live your life and one day things will fall in to place hopefully day do.Just have hope and dont lose stress over it.Because if its meant to be yall will get back together.And if it doesnt o well you got to move on with life,life is to short to want something or dwell on somthing you may not get back i wish you the best wishes and being jealous only shows that you care and you dont want nobody to have her but you just explain it.
t4_tra
Doctors/Psychiatrists aren't cheap, and so I cannot assume they're services are readily available to you and I'm not completely sure of your insurance status.
You can indulge in self-improvement techniques: (it's free!)
Do what you love
Help others out
Acknowledg your strengths
Don't put up with crap
Drop negative friends....
There's more -- click on the link below. The 'pain' is a symptom of the numerous issues associated with esteem.
You'll be o.k. Remain positive and take care of you!
Good luck.
Blu Eyes
Dont drink any energy drinks or coffee. And drink chammomeile tea. That will relax you. I would also go see a doctor you could have something wrong internally. Good Luck.... There is someone out there just 4 you.
vabom
its okay yaar,dont fret .
Will you like to try something DIFFERENT ???
just do the following RIGHT NOW as taught by
'param pujya ASARAMJI bapu';
1--chant OM (OM as in HOME but without the 'H')repeatedly,forget everything just do it NOW !!!!!!!
doing this for 5-10 mins will give a sense of power within you!!!
if you find this useful let me know ,i will tell you a more stronger method.
note: women durimg their periods are not to chant OM but they can chant HARI
www.ashram.org
www.hariomgroup.org
Jaysgirl
Pray, and go get counseling. It helps.
Carly C
they always say that when you brake up with someone you love it hurts your actual body
and its hard to image it until it really happens
some things i that might help that is distract yourself...do something that has nothing to do with her so you can forget
its almost like lying to yourself it may not work forever but its a good for awhile
Matt
Mate, your going through some grief and loss. Allow yourself to experiance this but also allow yourself to reflect on your current situation e.g. seeing a G.P-Counsellor. Give yourself some self care e.g. hobbies/whatever. Don't beat yourself up.
g110708
Anxiety is not an illness as such, it can get out of hand though on occasion, however please do not buy into the idea that its an illness or you may brainwash yourself into submission. Drug companies make billions out their so-called medicines!
Relaxation is the antidote to Anxiety although while your filled with stress hormones it often seems like the last thing you want to do, but MAKE the TIME and it will help you now and serve you well into the future!
Everyone experiences anxiety and other painful emotions at times, depending on what life throws at them and their genetic / psychological make up.
You are going through a period of grief by the sound of it, which is a normal human experience when one suffers a loss of some kind, whether that is a death, a job or the end of a relationship.
Its unlikely to help you if you believe stuff like "most likely stemming from my extremely low self esteem" it can become a self fulfilling prophesy.
Try and accept that you are experiencing a loss and thus will have emotional pain for a bit, that’s expected if you lose something you love, but be happy that you obviously have experienced love and thus will surely experience it again.
If you visit a doctor they will do what they do and throw pills at you which can help but often hinder the process of emotional growth, try and do it without meds if possible, remember the saying, "what does not kill me makes me stronger"
Find someone to talk to about your feelings, a friend or get some counselling that will help you grow through the experience and make sure you get out of the house as much as possible, DO NOT SIT IN ALONE, even if you don’t feel like going out, staying in and AVOIDING makes it all worse, go for walks in the evening and in the morning, avoid caffeine and drugs and try and eat small meals regularly as blood sugar can go off balance if your not eating properly, causing anxiety symptoms.
If you need some help, buy, read and use the book, "feeling Good, the new mood therapy" by Dr David Burns it will change your life!
Good luck with it all and remember also that often through suffering we can find new strength as a person.
Counsellor Oneil
I suggest you go to a psychiatrist who would give you counseling and also if required some medicines which would bring back your comfort levels.
Doreen M
What you are experiencing is called Love Sickness. Give yourself a little time to grieve, then get busy by bettering yourself- learn how to control your jealousy, build yourself esteem, try a new hobby this list can go on and on, but the most important thing is get back in the stream of things. The mind is a very powerful thing, so use it by using positive thinking. There's a big world out there and yours for the taking! Good Luck, you can overcome.
Keith26
man, i was reading some of the answers on this, man if you think you are going to have a anxiety/panic attack just lay down and say "just get it over with", just have one man. Let yourself have one. You can not die of an anxiety attack. I have anxiety/panic attacks myself. That person that said that you would have a heart attack, lol, you can't die of one man, thats what my doctor told me to do. You will just pass out and wake up feeling good, ok, don't worry.
♥♥cHaRmInGuRl♥♥
Go see a doctor, it could change your life. They deal with this all the time. There is nothing to be embarassed about. It's a medical issue, you need to see someone. Seriously, I know it's hard to pick up the phone and do it but you will be so glad! You don't have to take medication but a doctor or therapist could teach you some relaxation techniques and help you figure out what's going on.
Take care of yourself, you deserve to be happy. Good luck and just try to go for it. Seriously, you don't have to live like this.
insprer
I think you are really depressed. You gotta talk to someone who really cares about you. Try to keep yourself occupied all the time. Try hanging out with your close friends, go outdoors, get a pet dog to fill in the empty space in your life, do something like that. Also, eat healthy, work out for a while each day. I hope you get over this soon. I wish you luck.
id2ga
Yes. Cry. Sounds simplistic and stupid, really, but it's not. Your body is yelling that you feel bad but you haven't mentioned allowing yourself to grieve--which is what your body wants to do. You may not be able to fix this relationship but you sure can figure out things to help yourself to feel secure so the next one goes better. Dealing with insecurity--hence, jealousy--is very difficult but well worth the effort. In your quest make sure you find things that you like about you and give yourself recognition for what you do well. If you give yourself these things maybe you won't feel so much of a need for someone else to give it to you and therefore less jealous. Worth a shot!
quadwilly
This is a classic case of depression... have your doctor refer you to a good therapist. With some anti-depressions you can get through this. Then you can stop the meds. It is common to need help overcoming pain of heart and anxiety. A good med is Paxil or effexor (they are for depression AND anxiety). Ask your doctor if you are a candidate for it.
Zac
You've been watching wanted, it is just a film not reality.
No, only kidding. See igf you can see a doctor ou could get medication for it. Try to free yourself, don't think in a confining or a guaranteed means nof everything.
Good things come and go, so don't let tiny things get in the way.
Find something that you enjoy doing and think of it everytime you get your anxiety probs
John A
You appear to be suffering from obsessive thoughts but don't appear to have the skills to deal with your issues. It is a habit to not want to let go of the jealous feeling cause it feels so real, and you see it as part of your character. Because there is no resolution of the conflict, much like a frozen anger the feelings just build up and you end up with an anxiety disorder or panic disorder. You are creating pictures and connecting them with feeling, this is all a dynamic in your mind, which in a sense pumps out tension into your body, such as your chest, and causes all sort of feelings, such as tightness and even pain.
Whilst taking medication will dampen down your current crisis it will not resolve the underlying problem. You should be creative and change your thinking. Aim for just small improvement and change your own self image. Find a role model who is loving and sharing and very different to the jealous you. Examine the model and find ways to like that person. Aim to let go, find ways to like the persons you resent, hate or whatever.
I had Obsessive and severe jealousy when I was a child and especially through puberty, it used to scare the sh't out of me. I never told anyone, ever. Now years later and incredibly with more wisdom I understand what happened. At the time I used to do lots and lots of push-ups and dips until I couldn't do any more. I would do several sets of those exercises and it helped reduce my mental energy and feelings to obsess.
Its important to keep busy challenging yourself with a balance of physical activities and mental challenges. The energy you have could help you achieve a lot but you have to replace the obsessive thoughts that hurt you with thoughts that are productive.
Start with a dream or idea and start working out what to do. Observe you thoughts and don't react to them, that will cause those obsessive thought to lose power in your mind. But have feelings about your new dreams and plans, then those will grow in strength.
misssparklies
You have anxiety and depression, and the chest pain can actually be, rarely, cardiac stress caused by emotional stress.
Go see a doctor, now. You need to see a psychiatrist about this too; A general practitioner thinks he can write you a scrip for some ole SSRI, but you need the trained guy in psych.
Been there done it, got every T shirt made. You can feel better, but if you can't keep food down that's deep in the misery my friend. It's an illness, just like any other- get treatment.
Lassie D
Try self-hypnosis. New-age chakra balancing, whatever you connect to---explore, there are a lot of different paths. You are conscientious of the pains, and are focusing on them, worried about them, which probably intensifies them. Why not try focusing on a happy feeling? Breakups are always hard, I tried killing myself once or twice over them because I just didn't see what tomorrow could bring, and now, I look back and I'm like WTF was I thinking??? (I actually got a "Congratulations on your wedding" card sent to my house after I kicked a boyfriend out, he got married 2 months later to another woman--I loved him, he moved in with me to save money for his wedding--how's that for a kick in the teeth when you're already down?) After one breakup, I only ate maybe one granola bar each day, for 2 months. No appetite whatsoever. Once I got past the grieving, I was MUCH happier and opened a lot of new doors. Give yourself a chance to see how much sunshine IS out there. Quit revisiting your happy memories together, just live life. I can't tell you how much better it will seem.
Falter
I suffered from horrible anxiety. I though i was goin to go crazy,i wouldn't sleep , eat , and obsess over the littlest things that kept me living in fear.
It took alot of will power to over come this, since i didn't know where my anxiety was coming from.
Like you, my lady that i once loved left me as well, and everything started to go downhill from there,?
To help cope, i suggest consulting your doctor he will help you out a lot. In the mean time, have time for yourself, right down your feelings, talk to Friends go out and have fun. Get proper sleep, exercise . stay away from caffeine. ma bey get involved in a club. work more, play more occupy your time.
but don't turn to alcohol ..plz.. it only makes it worse.
pissedbitch99
For me it was alot of mind over matter....I was lettin my heart give me anxiety attacks...i'd even end up in the hospital...it got bad...I got to a point where I didn't want to be on meds any more and I wanted the anxiety to go away...I'd talk myself out of it...think of things better in my life and what I needed to look forward to. You can't look back on life and sulk you can only learn from where you went wrong and change what you will do in the future thats what helped me along with counseling and in the begining the meds worked great so see someone and talk about things...change your life for the better because if your not happy with yourself you'll never be happy with someone...you'll only cover up the underlying problmes
Lisa D
You are definitely suffering from anxiety. You could actually have a heart attack if you let this continue. First of all, you need to resign yourself to the fact that it is over, accept it, and MOVE ON. She is NOT the only girl in the world. Get your body moving. MAKE yourself get up, get out, and meet the world again. It's still out there, ya know, just waiting to introduce you to new experiences, new loves, and new friends. Why don't you even go to the nearest Humaine Society and adopt a loyal, loving dog who will love you no matter what? That way, not only will you be rescuing a stray, but loving something else will take your focus off of this girl. Good Luck!
Nandini
Hi friend,
No anxiety medicine helps you, instead sometimes it will let you to have side effects.
The best way to overcome the anxiety is to accept the truth and overcome from it. It is so clear that your mind accepted the separation but your soul did not.
At present, the better way to overcome from it is to divert your concentration, that you can spend you time with the things you love. example, can go to your best friend and spare time but should not discuss this issues with anyone. The discussion will not help you to suppress the burden instead it will increase the pressure in your chest. Go to some places, love nature, breathe fresh air, play with pets or children.
Even if your chest feels painful, sit silently, close your eyes, take deep inhalation and exhalation slowly. do this for 15 minutes. at this time do not think of anything. it is hard, but practice makes it possible.
It is not that you cannot eat, it is that you dont want to eat. Nothing will happen good or her heart will get changed on hurting yourself. If you cannot, eat some juices or some cakes, JUST BALANCE THE FOOD. Dont force yourself to eat, just eat food whenever you feel hungry.
If you trust in God, pray. If not also, just pray to God that you are feeling bad. God will certainly listern. Dont hate her instead neglet her. That's all. Within one week you will be okay. Be Practical. Time is the good medicine that changes everything till that time have to take care of health. Hope this helps..
hi-c
you need to see a professional like a therapist asap. i went through a similiar experience like you and waited months before i realized that it was making me physically, mentally and emotionally sick.
time heals wounds. in the meantime, why don't you rearrange your home for example to distract yourself from thinking about her?? i painted my walls different colors, rearranged furniture just so i could start new again. also, get out of the house more and get some fresh air. i know this sounds corny but believe me, it works. other people's advice sounds great too. so get off the computer, and get your life back on track!!! good luck!!
GhostAngelWarrior
From what I read you seem very depressed and are suffering from Anxiety attacks. Why don't you go see a doctor they can help you and if you need to see a Psychiatrist and take medication so what! it will help you see the world in a whole new light.
Lady Mala
It's probably a short-term anxiety/stress. A mental health professional could prescribe something to calm the anxiety- and no, they're not all addictive now. The chest pain is probably from the stress, too.
See your doc, get a psychiatrist and get better. Anxiety drugs work almost immediately.
Bizzy Beader
Mike it sounds like you have alot of the signs and symptons of depression--most probably situational depression which is very treatable. So is the anxiety. However, you need to see a doctor qualified to treat you for these conditions. Good luck
lisa.birdsong
I know exactly how you feel. I went through the same thing about 8 years ago (I'm 37 now). The break-up caused me so much pain that it turned into clinical depression, anxiety disorder, drug addiction, self inflicted violence disorder and numerous physical ailments due to the drug abuse including contraction of hepatitis C. All of this began with a very painful break-up and a very low self esteem on my part.
The chest pains are due to the anxiety BTW. I advise you to see a therapist before things spiral out of control like they did for me. The main thing that scares me about you is the low self esteem. That is what leads people like us to develop emotional/mental problems. Others with good self esteem would be able to handle a break-up with minimal depression.
Please seek some professional help before you have to face the things I have had to face. BTW it has taken me the full 8 years to get back to any sort of happiness.
Tori Lynn
see a doctor fast, and psychiatrist. (really I was hesitant about it, but mine was great and she helped me a lot.)
Also try to have small spread out meals..
like in the morning a bannana and thats all.
Hope I helped.
WhizKid
See site below to learn how to deal with stress better and be happy. You are very unhappy. You lost a lot of your conditional happiness when she dumped you. Get some unconditional happiness.
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