kagome
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u have to figure that out for your self but rember, your baby isnt going to be like its father. just make sure u raise it with the proper values and even though the father might make u feel like crap try not to accidently take it out on ur kid. if the dad makes u really miserable leave him and take ur baby. trust me u might think its better to stay with the dad so ur kid has a father but he might be a bad influence so if u think u'd be better off without him and be a better mom then leave and take ur kid. in the long run you'll think back and either wish u had left or wished u hadn. only u can make that descision. ask family and freinds to help u decide. and evn thought it seems like u dont love ur kid right now and u might feel gultiy about that dont cause deep down inside no matter what you'll always love ur kid |
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Wayne A
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You need to realize the baby's father is an idiot and a fool. He is the one that is horrible, not you, ok?
You need to realize that God loves you so much that if you were the only person on the earth, He still would have sent His only Son to die for you so that He could have you in Heaven with you forever.
And God loves the baby that much as well. God will help you get over this slump you're having in your self-esteem, and He will show you that you are infinitely valuable to Him, so valuable His Son paid the highest possible price for you, His own life.
You can't be worthless, that's impossible, and you need to see that.
The baby's father is evil, so ignore most of what he says, ok??
Get some people around you who are positive and speak the truth, and stop listening to the lies of the baby's father. |
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Da 1 n only Queen
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it is not the baby's fault please don't make the baby suffer for the father's mistakes be a wonderful mother to your baby and at the end you will be proud of yourself. My father has put my mother through hell and she still loved me and she never made me pay for his mistakes and she is the best and when your child says that to u you'll know that u made the right decision but if you treat that baby wrong all i can tell u is that being hated by your own child will hurt badley |
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Someone
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There are hundreds of couples out there that are financially & psychologically ready for a baby. I'm with CF, give the baby up to somone who's ready for a baby. Babies are warm, sweet, & innocent... they have smiles that light up a room. Don't bring the baby into a home that is full of chaos, and instability. They deserved to be loved, nurtured, & treated like the angels they are. |
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Anna Z
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because the baby is innocent and should not be unloved. You are not wothless, you are going to be a role model to this little boy or girl and give it all the love it needs, and if you can't do that there are plenty of childless couples who would love to raise the baby and give it a good home. good luck. |
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Suzanne
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It certainly is not the baby's fault! |
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thumper
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Wow,You in the dumps. If there is anything I have learned about life it is that its constantly changing. |
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thatweirdchick
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plz dont take ur anger for the father out on the baby. so the father was an a$$hole, ur baby has no choice. be kind and loving to the babe and, if it will make u feel better, get the bouncer at the bar to beat ur xbf senseless. it will be relieving and fun to watch!!
good luck! |
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Cheshire Cat
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You must develop greater control of your own feelings. "Self-esteem" is exactly that - holding yourself, regardless of the opinions of others, in high opinion. This is done by acts and accomplishments that you feel are worthy of merit. Someone else can call such things worthless, but if you value your accomplishments yourself, then their words will not matter to your own feelings of self-worth.
Your baby is a blank slate, with no accomplishment other than survival as of yet. Perhaps your baby will become someone of great personal worth? What you describe is not whether you or the baby have worth, but whether you both were valued. You obviously feel justifiably betrayed because you expected to be valued more than the father demonstrated. His actions, however, in this specific description of events, refects his own worth. He is (IMO, of course) as a worthless excuse for a parent if he abandons the mother of his child in the face of parenthood. That seems to be childish and cowardly behavior. Were another woman to see that he had behaved so, what would be his worth as a prospective boyfriend?
So far, I expect that your only justified feeling is righteous indignation at being abandoned this way. This is the way to express your feelings while still holding yourself in higher regard. |
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robabard
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Do a google search on "keeping a rapist's child". Read many of the hits that comeback. Although you don't indicate you have been raped, the dynamics are similar.
If after reading this material, you don't think you can freely love your child, then arrange for an adoption. You owe it to an innocent child to offer him/her unconditional love. If you can not do this because of your past, there are many people out there who can.
Sorry you are in this situation, but "the father" is obviously a selfish bas*tard. Try not to be like him now. Think of your baby first, not of yourself.
Good luck ...
. |
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mom_of_4
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Easy, when you look into YOUR baby's eyes that will be all it takes! You had an a$$ of a man give you the greatest gift in the world. If you need to talk, contact me. Your baby will be the biggest gift you have ever been given! Good luck hon! |
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wunluv06
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the baby didn't choose to be here and the baby is part of you, so how can he be worthless, and you will mean more to that baby than anybody else so you will be worth alot to him/her. So what the father was an *ss, you should still be able to love your own flesh and blood. |
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hiheaven5
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Look at the child as a seperate person who has no connection to him-other than physical. this child is a part of you. If you are no longer with the father you can raise him/her to be a good person. |
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purple
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the baby has nothing to do with the way the father has treated you...it will have its own looks and personality..that as a baby has done nothing wrong... |
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CF_
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give the baby for adoption so it can be raised with a mom and dad who will love it... thats honestly the best thing to do for yourself and the baby |
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Boo.
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People can only make you feel worthless with your permission. The baby had nothing to do with that, and is not responsible for anything the father did to you. If you don't want the child, put it up for adoption - there are many, many people who would love to have a baby to love and raise. If you're not one of them (and there's nothing wrong with that if you are), you can get help to find someone who is. |
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nausie
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Realize that you have the chance to raise the baby to be the most wonderful thing that has happened to you, and to prove that you can make a wonderful mother and that you are not worthless. and that there is this little thing so small that you get to raise and that looks up to you for so much, Your going to be the one he or she depends on to live.
I hope you can find a way to love the baby, because you may not realize it but you are the only person that baby has. look at him or her smile listen to there laugh and realize that, that baby was in you and you are the reason that he or she is alive. |
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king_of_hyrule
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And why is this the baby's fault you idiot? |
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RACHEL
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because its YOUR baby just because it will have some similar DNA as its dads doesn't mean it it will be anything like its father especially if the father is not around when its growing up. maybe your just not a natural mum and if you feel you cant love your own baby which you decided to have you should give it to someone who will love it its a baby it doesn't deserve to have a mother who isn't prepared to love it |
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bluesun
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do not let him get into your head. prove to him you can stand on your own two feet. my moms did it with two kids. you can too. and stand up for yourself. you need to be strong so you can raise this child. your worth is from God only. He loves you and will guide you thru life's miseries. so do not lose hope. |
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Jackie
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This has nothing to do with the baby. I was with someone who made me feel worthless and had his daughter. She is now 10 and couldn't imagine life without her. I have been with someone (and married) since she was 2 weeks old. That was the best thing that happened because I now look back at her "LOSER" biological father and see how much further he could have brought me down. Love your baby and you will find someone that will treat you and your baby a lot better.
Good luck |
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dover_luv
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go on to www.dmlive.com the guy who does the radio show helps a lot |
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planedws
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Damn!
Now you are breaking my heart.
I'm sorry I made jokes at your pain. |
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Heather b
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I am not clear on the whole situation. However, how could you let yourself get pregnant to a man that makes you feel unworthy?? This baby did not ask to be here and if you feel already you cannot love it..Give the baby to someone who will..That is the greatest gift you could give that baby...Its called being unselfish... |
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Bound2Success
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Marry me with your baby then, I will take care of the kid. |
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micky_says
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You have asked the question, its fine but can you quit loving your baby because of his/her father ? Definately NO. And if still you can quit, you are suffering from some mental disease.
A mother is a mother. Even though, im am man, i will like to say here that Man can quit, Mother can never. |
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garylsmih1973
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simply try and remember you are not worthless. you are an amazing young woman who happens to have been blessed with a child.
so the father of that child is a worthless piece of slime and should be ejected into space an a billion little pieces for abandoning you when you need him the most. remember not all of us guys are like that.
as for loving the baby when he or she comes, this will or at least should just happen naturally as you interact and bond with your child you will grow to love him or her more than life itself (or so I'm led to believe), you will soon forget how the child's father used and mentally abused you in your hour of need.
you need a hug from someone close, your mom or dad may be.
if you were in my neighborhood I'd offer you my shoulder to come and cry on.
so the next best thing is to offer my email in box and say write me and tell me what is going on. and if i can I'll help as best i can. |
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Daddys Princess
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you must be young....cause it is not the baby's fault...you are worthless...you opened your legs..before thinking ...what happened to protection...you must have forgotten...OOOPS |
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Otis F
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It's not about the father. It's about the baby. The baby has done nothing wrong and will love you almost no matter what you do. It will depend on you for almost everything. Taking care of that child will give you a sense of self worth. |
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