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Fifi6
I need to tell my son that his grandpa has cancer and needs to have chemo. can anyone help me with this ?
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My son is 10 years old and we live in western australia
if he is really young...then only tell him what you know he can understand. dont make it too complicated...explain that he is ill, and needs to go to hospital etc...and that he could be bald!...try to make it as pleasant as possible..(without breaking down)......you dont want the child to be scared.
if your son is a teen..then he will have picked up by now that something is wrong...so be honest with him. he will appreciate you for it.
Max Power
Give him the relevant information without going into to much detail.
I had to take my 8 yr old to my follow up appointment with the surgeon who operated to remove cancer. It was funny, the typical questions the nurses ask at the beginning, my son answered them all for me, and did so correctly.
Jenn
My mom just told my little sister the truth. 10 year olds are capable of more than you think. First I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and then my grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer. She understood and had a few questions, but handled it pretty well. I took chemo pretty easily and explained to her things as simply as possible and answered all of her questions.
Once my grandma was diagnosed, Morgan took it well. She just said, "If Jenn can do it, so can grandma." She's such a brave little girl.
mike m
depends on his age
heckenhocker
My 5 1/2 year old nephew understood cancer and chemo when my husband was ill last year.
We kept the explanation simple
- he is ill, he had an operation because some cells had gone bad and caused a lump (he understood cells as the small things that all together make up a body)
- to stop the cells going bad again, he needs some strong medicine. Because it's so strong, it has some side effects, like making Uncle Mark very tired, and he might lose his hair (he didn't in the end)
- he'll be in hospital some of the time, and at home some of the time
- it's a big illness, but we hope the medicine will be strong enough.
- Some people with cancer die, but Uncle Mark's doctor thinks he'll be OK.
He had some questions, but took it all at face value and came visiting in hospital. He was fascinated by the catheter tube leading to the collection bag (this was post surgery)...!
Nephew really disrupted class a few weeks later when the teacher asked "does anyone know someone who's sick (expecting colds, coughs etc)....Tom put up his hand and said Yes, my Uncle Mark's got cancer" Poor woman didn't know what to ask next!
Good luck to you all.
Ellen
You didn't mention how old your son is, which makes a difference of how and when you discuss this with him. Contact your local American Cancer Society and see if they have any pamphlets or ideas on how to best help your son deal with his grandfathers disease.
cold grey Ash
When my grandma got cancer I was about 7 - she moved in with us until she was very very sick and had to go to the hospital. I watched her condition decline in front of my eyes - I gave up my bedroom so she could have one.
My parents sat us down and told us the truth - the straight truth. Grami had cancer. That means she's very very sick. The doctors are going to do everything to help her. She will be doing Chemo (she was in one of the first trials) which is a medicine that may make her feel bad and may make her sick. It might make her hair fall out.
You can not get sick from her. She needs our love now more than ever. Whatever you can think of to do to make her happy will help her get better.
Then when it got bad, they explained she would die - in the same way. They even got a video for us about a kid who's mom was dying and told him that when she got to heaven, she'd build him a rainbow to let him know she was thinking of him. Everytime he saw a rainbow it reminded him that his mom loved him.
The best thing to do is be honest with him and let him visit and help out. I used to read to my grandma, take her snacks, sit and visit with her, maker her arts and crafts, etc. Let him have quality time now - tell him it's still his grandpa and he doesn't need to be afraid of him - and give them time together.
Jall
I would be straightforward with him and tell the truth. I think he is at an age where he will understand it. I did that with my son when he was 11 years old - when his grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer. He was worried and had questions like, 'Is she going to die?' I said I hope not....breast cancer is very treatable these days......she caught it early.....she will receive chemotherapy to try to kill the cancer in her body.... chemotherapy is difficult and risky but she has a much better chance of getting better if she takes the chemotherapy....chemo will make her tired, sick and she will loose her hair...etc. In my mother's case, it comforted my son when I told him that this was not her first time having breast cancer. I explained that she had it the year he was born (11 years before) in the other breast and went though surgery and chemo and pulled through just fine.
Then 3 months later I had to tell him that his 2 year old cousin around the block had leukemia and a few weeks later that his Aunt had melanoma....that was a tough year. He had lots of questions, worries and concerns like 'what is going on'.....'are you going to get cancer too?'.....'will I get cancer?....'is my cousin giong to die?''.....as much as i wanted to tell him 'No'...I was honest with him. These questions were tough but i was happy he had a place to discuss his concerns and worries instead of holding them all in or even worse....asking other 11 year olds who have no clue.
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