Okay, EVERY night I tell myself, ''I'm getting up earlier tomorrow'' And I'll go to bed ''early'' (12:30) and then STILL get up at 1 in the afternoon ...
the past few days I have been insanely depressed. I usually cry before I go to sleep and usually for no reason. I just keep focusing on the bad parts of everything. This has happened a lot when I was ...
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I know this sounds silly but my life has so much passion and meaning, sometimes I wonder if it's really meant to be as such. I look around me and see people that have so much pain and grief, but ...
My dad and I are argueing. My boyfriend and I are about to break up. My mom is starting to become Bulimic and My best friend hates me because she is in love with a guy that I wont hook her up with. I ...
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i`ll be 27 but i still feel about 18!!! how old are you and how old do you feel??...
constella
How can I stop myself from becoming severely depressed - help?!?
My life is 1 big mess at the moment!! I had to leave my job a few months ago, due to bullying, harrassment from my boss...I live with a dad who has criticised me, put me down, hit me and played so many mind games - I've lost count...my mum doesn't really understand and my sis takes out what my dad did on me ...I am not allowed to express myself without being told that I have ruined it all! I graduated 4yrs ago with no real career path- odd jobs, have no boyfriend, no real friends, am finding it hard to get a job and believe in myself!!I hav hit rock bottom!!I don't do drugs/alcohol - but am living in really tense family atmosphere + with a string of failures behind me...I am 29 years old..is there any hope for me to get my life bac on track and save myself from becomin severely depressed..jus in my small room all day..on the Internet looking for a job???? As mentioned i had a very bad childhood - full of fear, intimitdation, bullying and made to feel worthless - need help - anyone???
Now you must start living for the future,not the past.Move on for YOU noone else.Go get some you time,get pampered even if it means just a hair cut or a free make over which most stores do and get down that jobcentre or look round for jobs in person to build confidence.Maybe join a club and meet new mates.I do however feel bad for your past and the torment you have recieved at work but you have got to try and walk past it all and start afresh,I know its hard but you have to force yourself as you will only make things worse for yourself in the longrun.Maybe you could speak with your doctor and see if he/she will refer you to a councellor which may help and is nothing to be ashamed of as i currently have one,they are there to talk to and open up to about feelings and any anxietys/issues.When you are feeling really down go for a walk,meet up with a friend,try swimming or the gym,maybe take up a sport such as karate which would boost your confidence lots.As for jobs,if you want to get a proper career there is always colleges etc which help you along the way to a job you really want.Anything is worth a try regardless of your age/background.Dont be alone through all of this,find someone you can trust to speak with.I am sure there are lots of other people out there who feel like you and really noone should suffer alone,get help.All the best.Sorry i cant be of much help
sbro
why don't you move to a new city. start afresh. also, there are plenty of lonely people out there looking for friends and support too, you could get in touch with people on the internet for a start then meet up...life's not all bad. you have to believe in yourself and go out there, grab opportunities. all the best!
Jeff
Start by reading "Coming To Our Senses"
By: Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD He is also a Cognitive Behavioral Therapists.
Very, Very Helpful book, teaching excellent coping skills.
You may want to see a Psychiatrist for some observation, and might possibly need to get on some medication(s) for a time. It will help you to get your life back on track.
Sports help also. Whatever sport you like.
45 min. a day, at least. Best sport to be played with another person.
From An R.N. with a Master's Degree who
cares about you.
Crazy Eagle
Why not talk to a local community college about a new career path? Many have LOTS of choices, and I am sure you could find something you would like. You would also meet lots of new people.
Exercise! Join a co-ed gym and work out. You will feel better, look better and if you pump iron you will meet lots of guys.
Make sure you are eating right. Lots of vegies and fruits.
I am sorry you had a bad childhood. Things will improve for you if you try. If you would like to chat, feel free to email me.
K.B.
1 -Try using a temp employment agency until you find a permanent job you would like. They can be short assignments, or long, simple or difficult. Sometimes you don't need as much experience. There are agencies specializing in light assembly versus office/computer type jobs. I did this when I lost one job and just wanted to get some cash. I worked for a few weeks stuffing envelopes etc... Many of these jobs can lead to being hired on permanently.
2 - Go volunteer somewhere you like, such as a animal shelter, a retirement home. Seeing others in worse situations (and there are worse ones, believe it or not) can sometimes help you feel better.
3 - See a Dr for some anti-depressants. Even if you don't have insurance, some doctors will let you make payments, and can even give you sample medications. They will often charge less (for the visit) for someone without insurance.
4 - Please realize that you really are not alone. My husband and I have both had problems with depression in our lives. He takes medications, I did many of the things I've suggested here.
5 - Go to ivillage.com for more of a real, nurturing environment (considering it is still the internet) that focuses mainly on women's issues.
6 - Be CAREFUL who you email or phone from meeting on the internet. There are many bad people trolling around with ulterior motives! If you must email someone you've met here, I suggest setting up a new, seperate email address and put NO personal information in your "account".
7 - IF you want to move out, find someone renting a room - in fact, sometimes you can get a room & board in trade for working at their house etc.. This of course may have to be after you get that temp job.
Good luck!
Darren S
Ive had depression for over 15 years.ive tryed to commit suicide twice in the past.The worst thing you can do is think your hard done by,and feeling sorry for yourself,your better than that.My childhood is a blur.I finally went to the gp and got antidepressants,as Ive tryed all over avenues.Dont give up its so easy to give up.Its hard very hard,but really try to be positive.Good luck I have faith in you.
formalintroduction
if you start going out to take your mind off your stress. meditate. go out with friends or make new friends. join activities. helping others (volunteer service) often helps to make people feel happier and it is a way to make new friends. going to church even if your not religious is a way to be in a positive atmosphere. if you feel very depressed maybe you should go to therapy. just know that life has challenges and eventually they will pass instead of trying to change everyone change your view on life because people will only change if they want to change. Good luck and God Bless. :)
Lucy Lake
You need to take charge of your life. Get a new job. You also need to learn techniques to deal with bullies. Get a book called How to Deal with Difficult People. Then you must move out of home and make a life for yourself surrounded with the kind of people who will treat you right.
Trublood
You need to find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Spiny Norman
I wish I could help, but at the end of the day you will have to get out and start meeting other people to share your problems with.
The more you can get out of your home environment the better.
Try some Internet dating and see if you cant find someone who cares about you and will listen. Do you have any relations that you can talk to? I found the Samaritans really helpful when I was down, don't be afraid to ask for help. We all need it at sometimes in our lives.
Mutly
first thing you need to do is get out of that environment, it's not healthy. i know that not having a job is going to make that difficult but it needs to happen before things can get better.
second i would start looking around in your area for a good counselor to help you sort through some of the stuff you're going through right and the stuff you went through in the past. it's not good to dwell on the past but it's part of who you are and you need to deal with it so you can leave it behind you.
i don't know where you live but look for the department of labor in your area and ask them for help finding a job. (here in colorado it's the workforce center for your county)
but the answer is yes, you can get your life back on track. it's going to take a lot of hard work on your part but if you're willing to do it things can get better. (it's not easy but it is possible)
the other thing you can do to start feeling better about yourself is something you start immediately. get out of that small room, go outside and get some exercise. find some physical activity you enjoy doing and just do it. if you're self-conscience about it do it where no one's around, or at least no one you know (that's what I do). it will help you feel better physically, mentally and emotionally.
shayla x x
Wow this has struck a chord with me i have been going through the same thing too, i have no confidence meeting people etc its very tough to get out of it ive had anti-depressents the lot.
LUCKY7
it is a bump ion the road. you are young and just need a break and it will happen. I had a rough childhood and i felt similar when i was 19ish. I made a few obtainable goals and spent my time doing whatever i could to better myself. you may be sitting in your room all day but instead of looking at all the bad things try spending your time planning your next move. set out to make it happen with all you've got and it will pay off. it did for me...
good luck
123
move out and rent an apartment or sumthin...take out a small loan and buy urself new stuff and FIND A JOB, den go out on fridayz and luk fo dat ur future boo lol
Pink n Wise
Listen my love, I am much older then you and at the moment am going through my second lot of chemo. As you go through life, sometimes it deals you a rough hand. The only way is up. Things will get better for you. You need a good friend who you can maybe live with for a while where you can sort out your life. Sometimes people don't come up to our expectations in life, thats called 'living'.
Be grateful that you ARE!!!
replybysteve
What not to do: Don't get anti-depressants, you have a genuine reason to feel bad: You are living in hell. Drugs will turn you into a smiling zombie living in hell.
Okay: You do need to leave home. You need to get as far away from your family as reasonably possible. I'm guessing you're in the UK from your spelling of "criticised", so you leave go to another part of the country, go to a Citizens Advice Bureau and let them help you get a place to stay and state benefit, just to get you safe.
Then start looking for jobs. Make a point of getting out and going for walks. Join a women's exercise class so that you can start building up some friends.
You can stay in touch with your family by anonymous e-mail if you must (but you don't have to), just to tell them you're okay. Always ignore anything unpleasant they say in replies, never ever respond to it. Just say good things about your life. They will try to put you down and get you under control again. Ignore it.
Okay, as for jobs: Just do anything within reason. Then start doing additional training, either by paying for it yourself, or see if there are any government schemes you can get on to. From there you can get a better job.
You've spent your life being a victim, it's time to stop. And by saying: "How can I stop myself from becoming severely depressed" you've proved that you're strong enough not to give in.
Get out of that place right now.
Good luck.
Babykay
You are not going to live like that forever! Find someone whom you can share your problems....and always learn to talk about you feelings to others. The more you talk about it to the others the more likely you are to get over it. Yes, as you have said its difficult to find a friend whom you can trust. A therapist would be ok.......because they will make you realise that you still stand a chance to live and that you still have people who can understand you.
Families are always people you can run to...but if they make you feel that way....then its important that you confide in someone else. Try to joing the gym and also find other things to keep you busy...to make you feel you have a task in your mind. Try not to alone all the time...make sure you are with someone to talk to. Watch movies that are based on real life...movies with a gd ending that will show you that there is the negative part of life also.
All you know right now is that life is negative coz everyone seems to be negative about you. Look at the gd things that you have in your 29 yrs of your life. Stop looking at the negative things that you have done. Get moving......you can do it..its not too late
Bob Danvers-Walker
Firstly, why not do some voluntary work for a charity whilst job-hunting, which will get you out of the house and widen your social circle.
What are your interests? Most towns have groups catering for most types of interest, and thus you'll meet people with whom you'll have something in common.
No magic answer here, but its always best to actually do something positive than dwell on the negatives.
wswskitta88
Need to try and find somewhere else to live so you can thik straight and be positive. Try a friend or another family member maybe they will help you out until you can manage on your own. Find a job doing something you like to do and makes you happy. Good Luck
Luvfactory
How does this sound: get yourself on a TEFL course (Teaching English as a Foreign Language - sorry if spelling it out is patronising, I don't know if you know this) and get yourself to a strange country where nobody speaks hardly any English. They'll sort you out with accommodation and a school (or schools) to teach at. This will get you out of your everyday life and put you in a different place, different situation, different culture etc. The culture shock will be so massive that you won't be able to think about those things that trouble you at the moment. You having to survive in a different country without any friends (but you will make friends though) will give you not only confidence but excellent problem-solving skills. It also looks good on your CV and if you are really motivated you could also learn the language of the country where you are placed. It is all up to you, the centre will send you to a country you prefer so, wherever you want to go just do it. I'm not saying do this forever but for a couple of years. This doesn't mean you are running away from your troubles, it just means that you are temporarily taking yourself out of your comfort zones and learn new life skills that are excellent. I am speaking from experience. Good luck, I really recommend this path, I'm sure you'd change the outlook you have on your own life.
Liza
My heart goes out to you....See if you can move out and separate yourself from your family for a while. Even if it straps you financially, it's worth it. They are draining you emotionally at a time when you need to recognize your strengths and blessings. It must be hard to concentrate on anything good in that tense atmosphere. Once you've left, start looking for some way to work your way back. Instead of thinking in terms of finding a career path right away, try to think about how the preparation you've had in life, both your education and your life's experience, can help you to help someone else. People that are most able to help other people are those who also have endured life's hardships. One thing I can tell from you is that you have a resilient spirit. If you didn't, you wouldn't have written for help. So realize a few things. You are not worthless. You don't have to live with fear. You don't have to submit to bullying. You are strong. If you pray, then look to God for strength. He has given each of us more strength than we ever realize. Use it, and try to listen for His angel messages. They will come to you very quietly and will appear as your own good thoughts. Heed them. And every day, go outside for a few hours. Go to a park, sit on a bench, smile at someone and make their day. You have more to offer mankind than you realize. Leave the past behind and forge a new future. You will be blessed as will the people who will be touched by your goodness.
echc
You need to get out of that invironment, it will not change unless you change your surroundings.
Hibee
Slow down. Go for walks in the park. Watch the birdies. Feed the ducks. Look at the sky and the trees.
blue
MOVE OUT, MOVE OUT, MOVE OUT! Quick!!
You sound so suffocated and enclosed. You cannot live under your parents' roof forever and it sounds like you've already lived there far longer than is good for your self-esteem. This tense, aggressive, resentful and bitter place you're living in will only get worse with time. Once you grow up it becomes nearly impossible to live with your parents - you have grown into your own person and need to spread your wings, while they will always see you as their child, theirs to control and talk down to.
I have been in a similar situation to you and moving into my own place was the best thing I could have done - it gave me the space to be myself and do my own thing, and being away from my family made it a thousand times easier to get along with them.
If money is holding you back, see if you can get a flatshare. There are loads of people looking for flatmates in the local papers. As well as sorting you out with a place of your own, you may even become good mates with them. Do you need to stay in your hometown? Can you move to a bigger city where there will be more job opportunities? Can you odd-job there until something comes up?
Getting stuck in a rut is rubbish. Life gets stale, miserable, boring, monotonous. Especially if you're facing a nasty age milestone and are feeling your youth slipping by unenjoyed. Your self-esteem has taken a vicious battering in this dreadful situation you've found yourself in so I can understand how you may feel lacking in the confidence to walk out and go it alone. But you can do it! Go out right now and get a newspaper and see if you can find somewhere of your own to go to. Good luck!
Wheelebin
I think you need to move out of that house for a start and get a place of your own coz while you are living there i cant see your depression getting any better.
hans2
hi i know exacly what you mean.
i was the same and am feeling a little down myself due to my dad trying to wreck my life.
if you want you can email me at hannah_clarke32@hotmail.co.uk and we can have a chat if you like about things.
it'll make us both happier to get it off our chests.
Munya Says: GFOD
Kid, I'd get the H out of there ASAP! Even if I had to move into a shelter, I'd do it. The atmosphere you live in right now--RIGHT NOW--is what is bringing you down! It sounds oppressive enough to suffocate in---you dont need a plastic bag over your head, YOU HAVE YOUR FAMILY!
UGH! Ok, good luck, get away from them, even if you sign up to be one of those paid companions for the elderly where you go live in their house and stuff---get the heck out NOW!
good luck kid, you are better than they are that's for sure!
Stephen
get a free consult with a lawyer. you may have a good case to get your job back with a new boss, or at least get a settlement out of it. the lawyer won't take your case unless he/she thinks it's a winner and then it won't cost you a thing.
revenge/justice can do wonders for an ailing soul!
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