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I have a question for anyone who has dealt with people who cut themselves?
i work with a girl with this problem. she's 23, i'm 47. help me understand why she does this! she talks about it a little. she denied that she still does it, but recently admitted that she does it still. i've heard that it is a "control" thing with self. please help me understand this
I already know you're going to betray her by calling the cops on her, getting her thrown into a mental-jail. she WILL hold a grudge
Hopefully she'll remember to get revenge when she's released!
jacko
See self harm at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 4; check it all out; note/print that page, and give to her, or refer her directly.
Marcia K
What is wrong with Meat Mountain?
Cutting (self-injury) is one of the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. I am (was) a cutter also.
I found out I was cutting because I was raging and didn't realize it. I would get angry and take a razor blade and carve the word DIE in my arm. Once, they kept me in the psych ward for 8 days.
Once I realized why I was doing this, little by little, I was able to stop. I've been seeing a therapist (clinical psychologist) for 9 years. Without him, I wouldn't be here today.
I hope you can convince your friend to seek help.
belladonna1386
my brother does this because he is depressed. she needs help.
yay. it's me. [[VT!]]
Has she received help; therapy or counseling?
Amy R
One of my friends in high school used to cut herself as well. The way she explained it to me was that by cutting herself on the outside, she didn't have as much pain inside...she was a troubled girl that was going through a lot of bad experiences at the time. Her pain was the one thing she could control, on the outside by cutting. She did get help eventually, but I don't know why exactly people cut themselves. It seems like a worse way to deal with pain.
mommajoliska
People who cut themselves feel so out of control of themselves, and cutting is a way to make them feel in control. It also sends out endorphins, that make you feel good, as she is probably depressed as well. No matter what, it is still dangerous, as it could lead to suicide.
migida7
Please get her help now. I have a really good friend who i grew up with who was a cutter. She started it in high school and by the age of 22 she got in a fight with her boyfriend, and cut herself so deep that she almost died.
I had no idea she was even doing this until a month before. She had even gone to therapy. It is a control thing where they can control pain that is self inflicted... typically because they are depressed and have external conflicts that they can't control.
NY_Attitude
It is a release of pain and anger- think about how angry you must be to actually cut yourself. The anger is repressed and by cutting, the person releases it. She needs to see a doctor- a psychiatrist and a psychologist to get her feelings out, to learn to communicate her feelings, and to move on with her life. It is a form of self loathing. This is usually also connected but not restricted Borderline personality disorder.
She could have a bad day at work as we all do from time to time and instead of doing something healthy like walk, exercise, read, write, etc. she cuts herself. I have a friend that once did this regularly- we were in therapy together as I am a recovering anorectic.
mairzydoatz
My dear granddaughter did this for several years. She was tormented inside. Those were awful years for her and for those of us who love her. She was instutionalized several times so she could be watched, and counseled. I believe they cut themselves to try and relieve the inside pain they suffer. It doesn't make a lot of sense to those of who do not do it.
A terrific lot of prayer was done for our granddaughter.......over several years. She was in such torment, it was heartbreaking to see. She is now 18, is graduating from high school this month. She has not cut herself in several years. I give credit to prayers.
Many years ago one of our daughters used to take a hot curling iron and burn her arms. She too was tormented - it was a nightmare for me. She is now 37 years old and has not done this for many years.
Your friend ought to seek help from a Christian counselor........
Blessings to you, and to her !
shelly p
I am 39 and I am a cutter my self. Cutting can relieve stress, and anger that you can not let out in another way. It can also be explained as anger turned inwards, or self punishment. If you want more info on this do a google search on self injury, there is a lot of informational web sites on it. You can also google self mutilation. I know it is hard to understand. I do it because it relieves my inner pain. And brings me back to reality. It is a very difficult thing to understand, hopefully some of the web sites you will find can help you understand a little better. Good luck
BlindedByReason
It's probably a way to test out how much you can feel, when everything in your world seems numb. Or when something hurts so much, and nothing else can seem to take your mind off of it, the pain from cutting may temporarily override that feeling..
Laurel M
I don't know much about it since I am a fairly stable individual and have a lot of support networks for whatever I do. People sometimes cut because they feel that no one is there for them and they don't have enough confidence in themselves to realize that they are great individuals and people. Two things that really helped me with my friend who was cutting is to make it seem like not such a big deal as a lot of people make it out to be. In her case a lot of her cutting was based on the want for attention, she would make up these soap opera stories of her life that really weren't true, the one thing that was going wrong for her though was a lack of attention. Everyone around her except me constantly tried to help her through it and were obsessively concerned for her, though I, her closest friend, just let it run its course she eventually quit. I don't know from a counselor's point of view but maybe talk to a friend or close family member and clue them into the situation and suggest how to deal with it, becuase overly caring and worrying may not be the key to stopping, someitme it is only fuel to their fire. Also what I did is clue her into people's lives who have it much worse then her, such as people victims of hunger and other horrendous things. A supposedly unbiased therapist may have no right to do this although getting in touch with some close friends and family and giving them tips can help a ton. Hope this helps! (Just as a note, if anyone reading this is a cutter and finds this offending for any reason, I am sorry, i didn't mean to offend anyone, just offer my personal experience)
Mike
they do it cause they cant get rid of their pain they think cutting themselves will release it
Opester
Here's an excerpt from one of my previous answers that I hope explains some of the reasons, but every person is different:
There are multiple reasons why people self-mutilate and each case needs to be explored individually. The most common reason is that it occurs in order to induce a dissociative state and assists people who have been traumatized with achieving a state of emotional numbness and you hear it described as soothing for them. The physiological basis for it stems from the release of endorphins-the brain's natural painkillers-which function much like opiates and dull the experience of emotional pain. Other reasons include the opposite rationale-people who feel numb emotionally and who have shut down will self-mutilate in order to feel something and remember they are alive. Some people, particularly those who are in abusive situations, injure themselves as a way to exert control over when and how the pain is experienced. Others do it for self-punishment and feel relief from guilt or shame and see the letting of blood as a way to purge themselves of guilt. It may be a way of re-enacting and attempting to master early traumatic experiences This often happens during a dissociative state where people are recalling experiences which were traumatizing and they feel a need to punish/purge themselves for what they often mistakenly believe they have done wrong. There are also folks who do it as a way to cope with unrelenting chronic physical pain from other sources as it creates an alternative pain that distracts them from the chronic pain (think of the principle behind how a TENS unit works). In more rare instances it can be a response to psychotic states where folks are responding to command hallucinations or believe they are purging themselves from some evil inside them. There are other less common reasons, depending on the form of self-mutilation (eye enucleation, castration, etc.) that tend to be symbolic in nature. But most commonly it is done in response to increased feelings of tension with which the individual cannot cope and it becomes a way for them to dissociate their emotional pain and achieve an emotional numbing. The goal of treatment is to fully understand the reasons that sustain the behavior and in the latter case (the most common) to help people develop affect tolerance and the ability to cope with and soothe their emotional pain in healthier ways.
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