for all those in here who will be finding today a very difficult day, i wish you smiles, happiness, hugs and chocolate eggs. :)
(((((hugs)))))
a hope you all have a great day!...
I'm 14, 100 pounds, I had a horrible headace, I was stupid and I took 4 pills of 500 mg extra strength tylenol...2000 mg in all.
I've also been on Zoloft (antidepressant) for about a ...
I think I might be depressed. I'm only a teen, and am afraid my amatuer self diagnosis won't be taken seriously, so i need to know your views. Last year, one of my friends (who wants to be ...
If someone is so miserable and in so much pain. why do we want them to live in such a condition. if we humans are so compassoate. wht don't we help them be free. Especially christians always ...
Since I was 13 I had off and on trowing up, I'd do it for 4-5 months, and I'd stop for a few and then do it for another 4-5 months (everyday 2-3 times a day) i got help for that because i ...
if a teenager tells lots of lies, very manipulative and convincing (not on drugs) has great highs and circling lows, creates horrific problems between people, doesnt keep friends for long, but tells ...
What do I do? been to therapy, on meds, won't stop, screams in the house, takes a pen & wants to jab me w/ it, calls me names, we just got out of therapy & he says I am not going to ...
and no not because of my monthly deal.......why do I keep crying, why am I so emotional and up and down. I don't want to take prescription drugs, and my boyfriend says its almost like I am ...
They must know that I self harm because it's really obvious, why do they ignore it?It only makes me do it again and again cos they keep ignoring me and I keep on telling them I'm down and ...
I have just been diagnosed with depression and got medication and counselling, but i dont want to sit and talk with a total stranger of my problems. I dont even want to take the drugs really! does ...
in may 2008 i met a guy on yahoo answers the category of course was in polls and surveys.then my father passed away may 22nd 2008 after my father passing away i still have grieved for him this guy ...
Be honest what is your worst fear, im not talking about those little things, im talking about the things that would hurt you for the rest of your life... what do you deeply fear?
i fear ...
mizael
I need your help. My boyfriend is an addict?
My boyfriend is an addict, and he just expects me to not fuss about the drugs. He is addicted to crack cocaine and ecstacy and he has been to rehab seven times, but each time he comes out, two weeks down the line he is on it again. I care about him alot and I dont want to lose him,all I want is to help him.
I think the best thing is to take him to rehab again and then this time make a fresh break from where you live as he is obviously going to be in temptation after he comes out as he knows where to get the drugs again. i done it and its worked for 3 years now and i dont want to go back ever again now. i would think about moving away definatly
shih tzu lady
Stop banging your head against a brick wall and wise up. This man is an addict and if that's what he wants in his life then let him get on with it. Seven times in rehab must tell you something....... how about, he's never going to get off the stuff and you ***** footing around him wont change the situation. Get rid of him, move on and find someone who can improve your life instead of drag you down. If he's so heavily into drugs you'll never have a penny in your pocket or anything in your home. Whilst you say you care about him, he obviously doesn't care enough about you. You come second to drugs and you are worth more than second best. Not what you want to hear, I know, but that's just how it is.
The Return of Dirty Sanchez
No one can help him until hes ready. HE has to make that choice. Sorry hun , but I would say leave him before its to late. Maybe that will wake him up.
bdsmslavegrl
you cant help an addict
they love the drugs more than you
test him say if you love me and want me give up the drugs....he will promise... he will look into your eyes and say love you babe, while he is thinking of his next hit
every word that comes out of the mouth of an addict is lie
they love no one but the drugs
your relationship is over,
only you wont accept it is
tracy_jane1970
You need to give him an ulitimatum, either he gets clean and stays clean or he can get out AND STICK TO IT.
You have every right to fuss about the drugs, if he expects you not to fuss then he cares more about the drugs than you and you need to walk away now.
I know walking away is hard but you have to think of yourself first, do you really want to have a life where you are worried everytime he takes drugs that he is going to overdose?
Autumn
This sounds bad but staying with him and not fussing lets him know he can keep you and still do these drugs. You need to let him know if he dont quit what will happen like you will leave him. Let him know you love him but give him a choice you or the drugs. Kind of like an intervention. And if he still chooses the drugs then you need to tell yourself he is ruining his life why let him ruin yours too. You may love him but it is for the better.
jackie m
Tell him he wont be your boyfriend if he doesn't change - it is hard unless he WANTS to stop. Good luck
alex s
Yes, sweetheart, I know you do but to be brutally honest you can't. He has to come to the decision himself to come off the drugs and he possibly never will. I know it hurts but you need to think about yourself and break away from this relationship. You will get over him in time and make a new life - trust me on this. Your question says to me that you are a deeply caring person but you need to direct it to those who will appreciate it. Take care - seriously - and think about yourself and what you want for your life.
valf
Don't be an idiot he has had seven chances to kick it and fails every time. Get out now why you are still young you don't need the responsibility of funding his habits......You won't change him because he doesn't want to change for himself. If you stay then you are allowing him to make those choices and will need to live with the consequences. By the way you have said you care about him no mention of love I think you know it is a waste of time but don't want to be the one walking out........
yahooyahooyahoo
Its so kind of you to want to help,but when someone is addicted to crack theres not much hope if 7 stints in rehab didnt do the trick.You are wasting your time.Get away from him for your own sake.
parkermbg
Take care of yourself, get to an alanon-naranon-or co dependents anonymous meeting. learn how to deal with his & your situation.
her with the mad ginger hair
hi, as i see it hunni you have two choices.1)walk away and let him get on with it or ..2) stay with him and try to help him get off the drugs...it does seem like he has no desire to give them up so in all honesty i think you are just banging your head against a wall trying to help him, i am not being unkind but seriously i would say leave him ,he obviously doesnt care enough about you or himself to give them up he sounds like he is on self destruct for some reason and unless there is a way to find the cause (maybe a psychiatrist) i dont think he will stop using them.i know this probably isnt the answer you want because i know you do care about him ,but unless he really and truly wants to get free of the drugs he isnt going to ,however many times he goes into rehab,the bottom line is only HE can make the decision to give them up .if he doesnt want to then you have no chance to make him .i am sorry i cant give you a more happy answer it is sad but that is what drugs do to people it doesnt just mess up the users life but also the ones that love and care for them .
Catrina M
Sorry Hun you cant help him he needs to do this for himself, no matter how pain-full it is for you, take a step back, he cant think of anything else right now because the drugs are his main priority , its hard for you because you love him and want to help but it wont make any difference, living life isn't his main aim only destruction, there are normally underlining problems which got him on it in the first place, there are lots of people you can contact to help you through this, normally advertised in the yellow pages, i hope you can get some support in this and wish you good luck for the both of you.
Mazanb
Exactly what part of him do you think you have to lose? You don't actually have him - the drugs do. You should walk away girl, life is too short. He is choosing to destroy himself, do not let him drag you down. You are worth more than this selfish individual is prepared to give.
peroxide.pixie
I think the best thing you can do is walk away, even temporarily, whilst he has someone supporting him-he is unlikely to stop. The prospect of losing you may help him see the error of his ways. Whilst I wish I could say he will be able to stop taking the drugs, drug users get to a point where they are not functioning in the same way as us, they have a different reality and most of their day to day life is engineered around the drugs and they worry only about the drugs.
I think if he really wants to get off of them, he needs to go into a rehabilitation centre and stick to the course, he must draw a line and cut any ties he has with dealers and friends that he does the drugs with.
Unfortunately in situations like this it often takes someone to hit rock bottom before they can start to climb back up again, he needs to realise that the drugs are going to destroy what he has, having you there to support him gives him less incentive to stop in a way as he knows he will have you by his side either way, If you were to say 'I have had enough' and walk away, he would perhaps realise that in order to have a relationship with you he must give up the drugs.
Nonentity183
You can't help losers like him, so you'll have to live with that or get him out of your life.
sharonvania
I wish I had more information, like....how long you've invested time into this relationship or how long you've been together....how old you are. From what I know, I will say this....I understand that you want to help him, but if you've tried numerous times and nothing changed, it may be time to rethink your approach. It sounds as like the relationship is toxic for you and that's not good. Maybe you want to stay with him regardless. If so, remember that alot of times, the spouse is the last person someone listens to or takes advice from. Get SOMEONE ELSE to help him. He's less likely to listen to you because he feels/knows that you'll be there, no matter what. Change you're thinking from "help him" to "support him". He has to put in work. If he's not willing to put in the work, don't keep carrying the weight of this! It's not good for YOU. You're important too....
juology
he needs to want help himself, going to rehab can just be going thru the motions. he needs to really want to stop, these are very addictive drugs. he needs to stop going to the places and seeing the people he took those drugs with to prevent temptation.
he could try cognitive behaviur therapy, where his mindset would be addressed and he would change patterns of his behaviour.
don't waste your time on fixing a man who doesn't want to be fixed - it's in a woman's nature to do so, but DON'T waste your life.
I did and now I'm paying for it.
Bobbi
You can't help someone who won't help themselves. If he dosen't admit that he has a problem and expects you to sit by, there is very little you can do except sit back and let him destroy himself. I know that sounds harsh and my ex husband is a severe alcoholic and I didn't want to lose him either, but you have to take care of yourself. You can try to get him help with a substance abuse counseler, and maybe some couples therapy would help the two of you work together on this issue.
Rio
caring for an addict is difficult in the sense that regardless of his love for you, his craving for the drug is inevitably stronger. To continue to support his drug use(either financially or emotionally, or even just turning a blind eye), will only enable him to use longer and perhaps heavier. He must realise for himself that he indeed has a problem. When he comes to you for help, then will be the proper time to help him. For now the best thing you could do for him is to let him go. I understand it is difficult and most certainly not the answer you want to hear, but an addict must learn and quit for themselves or they will inevitably continue to relapse. Perhaps time apart from him will make him realise what it is he will lose if he continues. Sticking by him makes it okay for him to get high in his eyes.
There are several support groups such as ala-non or nar-anon for wives/girlfriends, children of addicts.
stay strong. Good luck!
s.waters1@btinternet.com
If he`s been in rehab seven times,he don't want to give it up !
Don't let him bring you down,leave him and look after yourself this might bring him back to reality.
*@*@*
No one can help him, but himself. He HAS to WANT this even more than you do. It's a sad situation. I know you care about him, but he doesn't care about himself. You have to look at a few things here:
does he treat you well?
does he steal for drugs?
do you have any children?
are you ready to be there for him no matter what, if he does decide to stop using the drugs?
does he put you in dangerous situations?
These are all hard questions, but they have to be asked. There is a chance that he will overdose someday. Are you going to be prepared for that? Chances are, you are better off telling him to look you up when he stops using! Sorry if this sounds bitter, but the only help you can offer him is tough love. Tell him to get help and stay away from people who bring him down and offer him drugs and when he's ready to love himself, then he'll be ready to love you back.
mmmkay_us
you can not save him so stop trying
if he has been to rehab 7 times and continue to use then only he will decide when enough is enough
you have already lost him
if you stay with him you are enabling him and keeping him from the consequences of his actions
come on you deserve better
amsterdam
You've already lost him, sweetheart. Move on, or he will drag you down with him
Angela C
Rehab 7 times?? Dump him, he is NEVER going to change. YOU CANNOT help him. Please move on with your life, and DO NOT have kids with him, no kid needs a father like that.
jayne w
walk away pet, just spent last two years with a bloke who took drugs "recreationally". had to get head round mood swings, personality changes,amnesia, all on an increasing basis.
yes, it's "nice" when you think you can help them, but a 25 year old bloke with schizophrenic tendancies, signs of alzheimers and an absolute refusal to admit there's a problem AIN'T a keeper i've finally realised.
you are NOT going to be able to help them if they don't want it, and you will miss out on finding a decent bloke if you keep with this one.
mittobridges@btinternet.com
He will only take help if he wants help. If he refuses to be helped.... Sorry.
Walk away before you get drawn in.
blue dolphin
I agree with Jason C, you can only help if he wants help. You would be better to get out of this relationship now.
cool jc
you can only help someone who wants to be helped otherwise kick him to the curb .sorry to be blunt
julie m
I know you love him, but you have to recognize that you have no influence over him, because you've already tried to support his rehabilitation, and it hasn't worked. You can't help him, because he enjoys being high right now. In the meantime, you are repeatedly being rejected in favor of him getting high. You clearly are valuing this person who rejects you, more than you value yourself. You really need to think about that.
Girls are excellent at seeing potential in a person, but you have to recognize when you can't help somebody, and your unconditional support may in fact be enabling him to stay the way he is. Go watch that show "Intervention" on A&E and observe how the addict's families have been inadvertently supporting their addiction by giving in to requests for money, putting a roof over their head, picking them up and putting them to bed when they're high/drunk, and emotionally supporting them. It just rewards the bad behavior, and worse, the person will only expect more.
It is not wrong to care and want better for somebody, but there is no rule that you must spend you care and energy wasting your help on someone who doesn't want to change. There are other boys out there who are happy to be sober, and I can only imagine how unstable you feel around a crack addict. I think you need to seriously consider losing him, because not only is he choosing a bad life, he's surrounding you with it.
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