JILON M
 |
You should definately visit your aunt. Since my husband has been told he is terminal, we've had all kinds of visitors... sometimes he can stay awake during the visits and sometimes he cant but he always enjoys knowing that people care enough to see him and let him know how much he is loved. |
|
VixMix
 |
My mum has cancer - a very large inoperable tumor. She is inundated with people who want to visit her and it is actually upsetting her somewhat, she is very tired and can't cope with all the visits. I would suggest that you contact someone close to her who is in contact with her just now and ask what she would want and can deal with. If you are doing what is best for her then that is what will help you most and you can reconcile this in your head - you KNOW you did what was best. If you don't ask then you will have unanswered questions... |
|
Hiiiiii
|
visit her and say your goodbyes! |
|
mr c
 |
Not dressed as a clown NO..... |
|
xCassiEx
 |
when we were told that my grandmother had 3 months to live, we were told that it would likely be less than half of that time.
You should go to her, but only if you feel comfortable doing so.
She knows you love her, but personally i feel that you should be there.... |
|
wifey
|
I visited my grandfather the day before he died of cancer I still remember how I saw him on the last visit but I also remember what he was like before he was ill but it is very upsetting to see your relative when they are sick why not ring her and speak to her first then see how you feel I am really glad that I went to see my grandfather I had a last chance to say goodbye even though he couldnt speak I am sure he was glad too follow your heart and do what you think is the best for both of you |
|
barthebear
 |
It should be up to her. Its not as if you are exactly close to her since it has been 3 years. She may not want to receive you now. OR she may! Call and ask her, saying' Would it be convenient for me to pay you a short visit" ? But do NOT stay at her place as that would be very inconvenient for whomever is caring for her |
|
jopaterson07
|
you have to do whats right for you, if you think you can live with not seeing her then dont see her, but if you think that you will regret not seeing her then you have to go, even if its going to be uncomfortable for you and very sad. if you think visiting her will hurt you more than not going then stay away, regardless of anyone elses opinion. it is you and you alone who has to live with your choice. |
|
*~JeS~*
|
yes go visit!
ur not gonna go because it might be better for U?
hello did u ever stop & think about her??? she's dying!
i bet u she'd love to see u before she passes on. |
|
Dr Frank
 |
This really is a double edged sword. If she is compus mentus I am sure she would love to see you. But I very much sympathise with your desire to remember her as a whole person. No one can really answer this question for you. You have my sympathy, but you will just have to let your own conscience decide.
I have been asked this sort of question many times and to be frank could not even answer it easily for myself when the question came up. |
|
majnun99
|
I think you should go with your own feelings and forget what your friend says. Not everybody processes grief in the same way.
As long as it's not a great hardship (expense, time off from work, etc), it would be a very kind gesture to go see your aunt.
Two of my Dad's sisters died in the last year. One lived close to me so I went to see her several times and I'm very glad I did.
The other sister lived like four hours away. I didn't go because it was a long distance. I knew she was very ill, but I didn't expect her to die that soon after her sister. My cousin and I were going to ride down there together for her funeral, but the weather report was giving severe winter storm warnings and we decided not to go since the drive might have been dangerous. I feel bad that we didn't go, but I think it was a wise decision. |
|
Gill P
|
Your aunt needs a loving family around her. If you can get there it will help her to know she is cared for.
I think you would be wise to go and see her. The grieving is still the same regardless if you go or not. Do remember that memories are in your head and although it hurts to see someone in pain or very ill, the good memories will stay in you forever.
Show your love by going to see her. |
|
W Tam SP
|
Hi go and see her its tough i know I didn't get to say good bye to my Grandad before he died he will regret It as long as I live my thoughts and prayers are with your family good luck all the best! |
|
sarah and Chrissy
|
yes visit her and make it a fun visit |
|
Metal Antemon
|
I'd visit.
the visit is half for your sake and half for hers. dying can be a lonely thing to deal with even with people around you but I'm sure it'll help her |
|
mizz_cut3
|
yes,u should visit her.espesially since u did not see her for 3 years.i wish u good luck and i wish your aunt the best.,and only g-d knows weather she will live or not so leave it to g-d.i know how u must feel,i been through a similar situation.and also if your AUNT wants you to visit her, than visit her please. She is the one who is sick here and u may regret not visiting her and saying ''goodbye'' if she passes.Anyways good luck again♥ and no matter what happens to her,she will always be with you in your heart♥ |
|
mazzer
|
i think you should go see her and let her know that you care or else she might die thinking that you don't. Why haven't you seen or spoke to her for so long? Was there any rows? Or have you just drifted apart? Either way, you should go and put it all behind you, and let her know she is loved so that she can die at peace with herself. You will really regret it if you dont go. |
|
Arch
|
Of course you should visit your aunt and give her a bit of happiness in her final days knowing that you cared enough to go and see her. |
|
Perry C
 |
Do you like her? if you do, then go see her and tell her you love her, while she can still hear you. If you don't like her, leave her alone and think kind thoughts about her to help her through her transition. |
|
Tony R
|
My great nan became very ill, the family knew she was dying, and looked really sick, and I was asked if I would like to go and see her.
I said no, as I wanted to remember her as my healthy nan, not the sick, frail old woman she had become.
However, now, looking back (it was 8 years ago) I regret never being able to say goodbye properly. I suppose in the end, its down to yourself, just thought I would let you know how I felt in the same situation, and how I feel now. |
|
ncgirl
|
You will ease your grief by going and telling her you love her one last time. You can help to make her passing much eaisier. I would call and ask about a visit before you go in case the family is already bombarded with visitors. |
|
kay_flood
|
If you do not go to see her, you will regret it for the rest of your life. You will grieve her passing whether you see her or not, but if you don't see her, you add regret to the burden of grief. If she wants visitors, then by all means go to her. Tell her you love her and will miss her. |
|
ANNA IS A PIRATE
|
I'm very sorry to hear about your aunt. My aunt died of breast cancer and I kept telling myself to visit her in the hospital and I never did, and I /really/ regretted it because I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I think you should see her, it'll make her happy. |
|
peroxide.pixie
|
Although seeing her like this may make it harder for you to come to terms with losing her, it will make her happy and she will go to a better place knowing her family loved her. Go and see her, it will be hard, a lot of tears and sadness knowing you wont see her again, but she will be so happy knowing you done it for her. I am not a religious person, but I believe we all go to a better place and one day you will be there too and will see her again. I think its best to be brave and do this knowing you have made someone very happy. xxx |
|
Mike Duh Russian
|
In a situation like this it doesnt really matter what you want.
Im sorry for being so straight but its true.
She is dying and the best thing for her is to be around people and now that she is loved.
SO I say, go to be with her. |
|
Happy Murcia
|
Your aunt may want to see you before she dies,,,,,if you never go you will never know,,,think about yourself in 50-70 years time ,,wouldn`t you like to see everyone just one last time... |
|
michele
|
Yes, it is wise for you to go see your aunt. You will not have another chance to do so. Not only can it help you in your grieving process, it may be a wonderful comfort and show of respect to her, as well.
If time and finances allow, I encourage you to fly out to see her.
Hang in there,
~M~ |
|
Mr Sceptic
|
Perhaps it's not about you?
Perhaps your aunt would like to see you before she dies. What your aunt wants is the important thing now, if she would like to see you go, if she doesn't stay away. |
|
Lily & Stu Too
|
You've got to do what your gut instinct is telling you to do. If you go with your heart, at least you can say you did what was best for you at the time. |
|
Sunrise
|
I think the question is do you think it will make her happy to think that you would bother to fly out to see her at this time and would you regret not making the effort to see her and talk to her in the future when it is too late. Never put off putting out a little love in the world, you have no choice when she is gone. I think it is lovely that you are even thinking about it and it implies that you care...maybe you should let her know that too. I think your friend is just thinking of you but it sounds like it may make you feel better to let her know how much she means to you before she goes. Greiving is hard but much harder when you have regrets and cannot forgive yourself for decisions made when you had the choice. I have many friends and family that I have also not seen for years but it doesn't mean that I do not care about them, just that we all get caught up in our own lives and time flies by. I suspect that by writing in answers you have subconsiously answered your own question. Take care and best wishes to you. x |
|
| |
|
Homepage 
Health
Forum 
Cancer 
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
