Ive just finished college and Im going to start applying for jobs. Everyone I know that works in the field Im going into said they had to do a medical prior to getting there jobs, during with time ...
Ever since I was twelve I have thoughts almost everyday of commiting suicide. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on Father's Day, but I still have those thoughts. I have a thing against ...
everytime i have an argument with my boyfriend my anger goes out of control i kick things,hit things,shout,really cry and worse of all harm my boyfriend can someone tell me do i need help and what ...
Is there anyway I can cover up the cuts on my body? And it will not wash off in the shower or bath etc. Could I use make-up or would it just wash off? Because people are getting suspicious about ...
I have had my laptop for five months which i bought to play online bingo and Ebay.Yesterday i got a message popup saying WARNING-You have 624 adult images and URL files in your machine,just to verify,...
just ask jo
How do i cope with the death of my dad?
any ideas how im ment feel or is feeling numb normal Additional Details
thank you for all your kind words it's going be hard 2 chose a best answer they r all best bar 1
i wish i could give you all 10 points
so sorry for your loss. lost my dad 3 yrs ago to cancer. go to www.imissmydad.com. very comforting, and you can actually "write" to you dad.
Sir Sidney Snot
Talk about it to someone. Come on my forum and I will try to help. Theres also others who will try too.
http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/
BlazenAzn215
I lost my dad just a couple of years ago(oh how fast it goes by). Its very hard on me since im still so young.
But truths are all you need to do is be STRONG in mind and health. Many people will go depressed or fall ill because of a loss of a family member. Dont forget they're always there, you just need to remember them.
hans2
i am so sorry to hear the desth of your dad. Its a very hard time greiving. You have to go to the doctors and get him to prescribe some sleeping tablets and anti depressants ready for when it really hits you.
you shoudnt take time off work as you have to keep going. your dad will be looking down at you so proud that you are getting on with your life- he wouldnt want to see you sad and getting depressed. by all means, have a really good cry and get it all out, then try to get back on track as you dont want to sink into depression as it wont do anyone good.
Once again im sorry for your loss but keep thinking that your dad will be looking down on you very proud with the way you've handled things and you can always talk to someone such a reletive about the memories he left you with. good luck!!
% of the population...
I am so very very sorry to hear about your loss.
You will go through a grieving process and this happens in stages. Numb is very normal.
Keep communicating with the people you feel close to and don't feel guilty for the way you are feeling at any stage.
There are help many people/ councellors who can help/comfort you.
(Atis^^- what a stupid insensitive answer!)
Please read the link I have posted below.
Lots of luck.
Helen
What you feel is perfectly normal , your world has changed forever because our parents are a part of us from the start we can never understand how much of us relies on their existence .
When my mother died (i never had a father) i realised that the only person who ever really new me was gone and it tore me apart , i couldn't think , and i knew life could never be the same . in time and it took awhile i realised that she lived on in me and i knew that i could not let her down by allowing the misery i felt destroy me and so her .
i got on with my life and still every day think of her , whether I'm shopping or working or watching TV it will come to mind , she would have liked that or i can imagine what she'd say to that .
the feeling never truly goes away but we learn to live with it and in an odd way it sometimes brings us comfort to know that we were known through and through and still loved .
i hope this helps remember it has happened or will happen to everyone .
Behind Blue Eyes
I did feel numb for a few days and then I have had these moments of pure depression, when I felt lost and terribly alone. These periods were every other hour and slowly became every other half days, days, months... This is a real shock to lose a parent and there is no real normal way to react. We all react differently. All I suggest is for you to do what you feel like doing. Cry when you feel like. This is your own experience and nobody can feel what you feel. Things will get less painful, slowly. Keep in mind that life goes on.
Fruit Cake Lady
It is very normal. Just remember that your dad is in heaven, and he is still with you always. I lost my father too and my brother. There is a book called Final Gifts that you should read. I have had some of the same experiences as they tell of in the book. I believe we don't really die, just our bodies. There have been to many things I have seen and heard not to believe that. Most people just before they die (within a week or so or even hours) see friends and family that have gone before them, even those they didn't know had gone yet. There are many books that deal with this and I have had first hand experience with my own father and mothers death, not to mention patients that I took care of years ago. They do see you sweetie and know what is happening with you. Talk to them, because they can hear you and see you. If you keep your eyes open you might find that they are sending you messages in one way or another as well. They even visit us in dreams, and I do believe it is really them. My brother has come into mine, and he is always busy. I never told my mom, because I thought she would think I was crazy, but before she died, she said she saw him, but he was too busy to talk to her.
Give yourself time sweetie and you'll begin to feel better. You'll always miss him, but he is there with you and always will be.
Matt
There are several stages of grief that you will have to go through:
Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.
There's no avoiding it - but you will come through.
harold g
it takes time to get over the loss of your dad or mom either one but eventually you wil be able to cope with it but you never forget it though find some thing to keep your mind occupied that will help you but the memories never really never leave you
beautilicious88
Think of the good things you did together, the things that made you laugh, the things he taught you.
Accept he is gone. Make sure he is fondly remembered. If it gets very bad, talk to him. It'll make you feel closer to him.
Smile when you think about him, dont cry
Country Girl
iya jo,
this is a hard one and i feel for you its so final that they will not walk bak into your room or your life i have had a few deaths lately and its scary i know but you must try and grieve when you need to but dont come depressed he wouldnt want that i beleive they dont die they just cross over to a different place a higher level a lovely place where you dont suffer he is at peace now and wants you to live a happy life !!!! so chin up angel speak to him for he has left only in body not in spirit in time youll heal there are many many books about the after life and grieving just look on amazon bless you and may your pain leave you soon xx
caroline1409f1
Sorry to hear of your loss. Talk about your feelings to friends and family and take your time. You will start feeling better and will have good and bad days. Take each day as it comes and remember the good times you had together.
denise g
it is shock i was like it with my sister could not take it in she died, very depressed at the time, but then you will cry, and you just begin to accept it in time, you must of been close i was close to my sister, still miss her always will but it gets better, but i will see her again i know God loves them too more than we do and they belong to him.
widow_purple
So sorry about your loss. I lost my dad 2 years ago in July...its the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me....I think with grief..it is a personal thing, like your relationships. Dad was terminally ill and I found it harrowing to watch him suffer, in a way, part of me was grieving for him while he was still alive cos physically he was no longer able to do the things he used to...I missed his bearhugs so very much. Then when he did pass away, I felt relief, if I am honest both for him and myself...his suffering and my watching him suffer was over. I felt so numb for quite a while...in fact it has been worse this year than it was last year cos everything is so real now...before it was all hazy...now its like my body has protected me from the pain but it has started to let me really feel now. Its like a hollow in my life...its unimaginable. There are no steadfast 'rules' to grieving the loss of a loved one....its just part of loving them and letting them go and the sad part is there is nothing you can do about it. I do hope you have friends and family around for support right now...you will need it and they will need it too. Take care of yourself and in time we will all remember our loved ones who have gone with a smile and a happy heart..till then, try and take each day as it comes, good or bad or indifferent...if you need to email me..please feel free... thoughts are with you xxx
sparkly_star
feeling numb is normal, it is also normal to experience a huge range of different emotions at different times.
Accept these emotions, feel them and allow yourself to grieve and work through them.
How you feel will also depend on the type of relationship you had with him.
Don't try and fight your feelings or hide them as this won't help you. Take each day as it comes.
Take care.
Janbull
Everybody will react to grief in a different way. I lost my dad when I was eighteen and my mum when I was 25 and I acted different both times. It is one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through and nobody will ever understand (they can only empathise) how you are feeling. Let nature take its course, and let the grief process work its own way out. Grieve but don't be consumed by it, you have to live as well. Take care xx
Mountain Bear
I'M SO SORRY THAT YOUR DAD DIED!
Being numb is one part of the normal stages of grief. Grief is very personal, but grief has many stages. Not all people go through the stages in the same order and they definately don't have each stage last the same amount of time. I am someone who goes rapidly through grief, which bothers most people around me, because they see it as me not grieving, when I do.
I can't recall all the stages, but here are some of them.
Initial denial, meaning in some cases a person refuses to believe the person is dead. Common with suicides, murders or other sudden deaths.
Numbness, where go about your day, do the things you have to do, but you don't really cry, you are not really happy, you are just getting through what has to be done.
Crying and often in men who won't cry, they get very quiet. This stage for many doesn't come for weeks or even months, and then may come and go over a year before it calms down and they don't have spontaneous urges to cry, such as if seeing something that reminds them of the one they are grieving.
Anger, many people, especialy young teens who don't feel they can express their pain or feel that those around them are not there for them, not listening to them, will go thorugh a mouthy stage of acting angry at everyone over everything, when really, they are just in a lot of pain and need help to find a better method of working through the anger of the death of someone they loved.
Acceptance or finding peace as I call it. It's where the person begins to accept that the person is gone from mortality and they won't see them again until they leave mortality. They begin to adjust their life to the absense. Find ways to remember and yet move on with their life and find that it's okay to be happy again.
There are other stages, just can't recall them.
There are some books about grief you may want to check at your local library, many even are written for teens, if you are a teen.
There are also in most places in the US, support groups you can find through a funeral home, many community hospitals resource specialist could tell you if they know of anyone, a hospital clergy may know of one. I know some medium to large towns have support groups designed just for teens who have lost a parent. There are also support groups for adults who have lost a parent.
Just rememeber how you will grieve is very individualized. You may be numb for now, but the tears will come in time, when it's right for you, not for anyone else. Don't allow others to tell you there is a set way to grieve. Just be honest with yourself, allow what you feel to be felt fully and you will work through it in your own time. Try to get active though, as depression is common when you lose a parent and doing some walking, some other form of exercise each morning for even ten minutes, can help you get up and be able to function and do what you need to do each day.
Realize that many people don't known how or what to do for someone who is grieving, so they may back away, don't take it as rejection, it's not meant that way in most case. Especially among teen friends, those who have not yet gone through a death may feel afraid of what you are going through, so they may shy away.
Find friends who have also had a parent die, ask them if you can talk about your dad to them, because they'll have been through what you are going through.
Don't run for pills to make you feel better, your mind, body and spirit need to grieve and masking it with pills or alcohal only delays it, sometimes for years and causes problems. Feeling what you feel and being okay with feeling what you feel is the only path of healing. We humans are meant to feel our grief, not avoid it. When we try to avoid any of our feelings, they run to catch us and in the long run, they'll over take us; so letting yourself feel whatever you feel is the best path.
Journal if you can about your Dad, the good and bad things, it can do wonders. Write him a letter and say all your heart desires, then save it your own special place or if you dont' want to keep it, burn it in the fireplace or other safe place.
Remember your father is in the Spirit World now, but he won't stop carring about you. He's still interested in you, so talk to him knowing he can hear you and still wants to hear about your life from time to time. Yes, he will be busy doing things in the Spirit world that are part of his spiritual growth, but that doesn't exclused you or anyone else he loves that he's had to leave behind here in mortality.
Again, I'm sorry your Dad died.
Take care of yourself, it does get better.
Guy R
I miss my father so much, he was my best friend, a drunk who smoked and liked to be lazy, but he was my dad and I miss him dearly, there are many more fish in all lakes now that he is gone. He loved the White Sox and did not see the World Series.
One day we went fishing for big muskie in Hayward WI. We had a spot all picked out, had been seeing some big fish in area and the setting was perfect. Still as could be, the water was so calm, we cut the motor and drifted into the perfect spot, "Let out the anchor," he said. Being 12 I was ready to help out all I could, I lifted heavy anchor and heaved it into lake as hard as I could, it came down with a giant splash, much noise, and my father screaming, "You scared every damn fish in the county."
We didn't get one that day but although it was 35 years ago, I remember it perfectly.
mikey_mossom
My dad died last month and he wrote something to be read.
Death is nothing at all... I have only slipped into the next room.I am and I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other we are still.
Call my by by my old familiar name,speak to me in the easy way which you always used.Put no difference in your tone;wear no no false air of solemnity or sorrow.Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.play,smile,think of me.Let my name be the ever the household word it always was.Let it be spoken without the ghost of a shadow on it.Life means all that it ever meant.Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for an interval,somewhere very near just around the corner.
All is well.
Ladyofathousandfaces
for some people it is really normal to feel numb, you just lost someone who was an important part to your life as you were growing up. So just try to honor his memory, and that will keep him alife, and if you can not get some therapy if you think that you are not coping with your fathers death, in the right way, then go and get some help to work through this. Cause you are not ever going to forget him.
TRACEY J
Deeply sorry for your loss.
Feeling numb is normal. Its your body's way of coping the pain and heartache. You will go through many other emotions as time goes on such as grief, anger, guilt upset etc...
We never get over losing someone close but in time we learn how to cope. It is important to take time to be alone and remember your Dad, the things you did together and the love you shared. You will never lose that love it will always live on in your heart.
Take each day a step at a time and each emotion as it happens. Talk to friends and family about how you are feeling and allow them to help you.
lol :-)))
LYNDA M
Always remember,your dad may have left this life,but he will be in your heart and mind forever.
Joseph M
Feeling numb is normal. It took me a while to fully grieve about my mother's death. Just try to talk about it with family/friends and this way you will eventually overcome it. Good luck.
NIGEL R
I'm sorry about your loss, you ll cope,you have to,
Tabby T
Jo i'm sorry to hear about your dad. My dad died last year and we were very close.
It is normal to feel numb and you're probably still in a little shock. Its hard to lose someone we love so much but trust me and take it one day at a time.
If you wanna cry then cry and if you wanna laugh, do it!!! Talk about happy times with people and let your dads memory live on to be a happy one.
silverearth1
sorry to hear about your loss! Feeling numb is normal .And it's ok to feel that way too . you might feel angry too at times . Speak with your mother together( it will help you both) about it or with the councelor at school . It will take some time to heal .
MOJO
My mum died when I was two so my dad brought me and my sister up when I lost him i was numb it took a while but time does heal think of all the good times you had and stay close to other people that loved him, so sorry for your loss.
cloothe
It is pretty normal to feel numb. I think it is nature's way of keeping you from feeling so much emotion that you would fall apart. Gradually, the numbness will subside and you will be able to feel and think more clearly.
Losing a parent is tough, tough, tough. (I know, because I lost my mother last Christmas.) It leaves you sort of tossing in the wind. Your parents are your anchors in life. They gave you direction and a sense of where you came from. Now that is gone, and no one is ever fully ready for it.
But we all get through it somehow. One thing to remember is that your father always knew this day would come. He may or may not have known he was dying right now, but from the moment you were born, he held the idea that you would have to go on without him at some point. So you and he have been preparing you for this day. As I said, we are never fully ready, but everything he ever taught you was intended to help you live on your own.
Now you can carry on with that. Did he read to you when you were little? Every time you read a book or a newspaper, you are honoring his memory and keeping it alive. Did he tell funny stories? A sense of humor is one of the greatest gifts we can give to one another. Did he drive you to school or a party sometimes? The lesson in that is that we should try to help one the people we love. Your entire life is a tribute to your father, your mother, and all the thousands of ancestors who came before them. Keep that in mind, and it may be a little easier to bear with your loss. Good luck!!
Homepage 
Health
Forum 
Mental Health 
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
