I know you may think i'm contradicting myself, but if you think about it.....Those people who are a little mad in their daily lives, like doing stupid acts and unexpected things such as doing a ...
I have been going through some really difficult times with my marriage, my family and myself for some time.
My wife and I have been seeing different psychologists plus we go to two different ...
okay so like if someone had been cutting only they did it like on their stomachs or somewhere where clothes covered it and someone accidentaly saw it and they said that the cutter had been doin it ...
i work with a girl with this problem. she's 23, i'm 47. help me understand why she does this! she talks about it a little. she denied that she still does it, but recently admitted that ...
Im 19 and I've been feeling very low for too long now and have been secluding myself from all my friends for about 2 months. my parents have been my rock during the 2months and my two sisters ...
Okay. Last year (Novembersish) I found out that one of my best friends were cutting. And these were not thin little knife marks they were very large and looked as if she were trying to skin her ...
I had been to see a Psychologist and had therapy for 2 years and it ended last Christmas. I wanted to go back to see her as I was having problems again but Mental Team said No. Once you have had your ...
I'm trying to take the non-medication road to healing my panic and anxiety (seeing as how all the meds they put me on for that just THROW me into panic attacks). I was wondering what other ...
i've been bulimic for 4 years now. but sometimes i get better but it always comes back. i haven't purged in 2 weeks now and i think i'm getting better. but still i know i'm not ...
how damaging can these things called 'parents' be? I remember a red dwarf episode in which people from the future finally proved that all our hang ups and neurosis were caused by our ...
Thom C
My fiance was a kidnap victim, who was raped and beaten for two years. She now suffers from PTSD..any advice?
I would like to know how to handle this delicately. The man responsible will be out of prison October of next year, and we will have to face him in court to make it ok for me to legally adopt the two children my wife had in accordance with the rape. I love my boys very much, and she means the world to me. But alot of times I will wake up to her damn close to screaming, and along with the night terrors, which leave cuts and bruises all over her, along with a myriad of another afflictions, I'm afraid of two things. One, that she will commit suicide if I over step my boundaries (don't get me wrong I treat her like everyone else, I don't pity her), and two, I'm afraid of what I'll find out. Any advice could really help me alot.
dude, she's broken. kick her to the curb and get a new woman. her life is sh-t. f-her. don't let her make your life sh-t too.
ldnmbr7
Are you a bell-hop? Then why the hell are you carring around someone elses baggage. Ive had a physco ex-wife and trust me...RUN!!! Brother, if those two boys are not yours get out of there. Trust me it will be rough but do it. There is no reason why you should have to stay in a situation such as that as a complete volunteer. The boys will understand as they get older and come to see more of the story as a whole. But trust me.. RUN!!
Arthur van der Schaaf
You be better of asking that question to a professional.
LaylaAtl
Get her in counseling or go yourself to find out how to deal with her in the best way.
someones fairy
I have ptsd .you could probably call me half human unfortunately I don't remember a lot of things and for that some times I get really mad. I should not be alive but for some reason I am. I am half bone and half medal as far as my skeleton goes. My husband often says he thinks he will fined me dead.I think I am to stubborn for that though.I live with the hope in knowing that what goes around comes around... she needs therapy, she needs meds. and possibly sleeping pills so she can deal with the night terrors better.
Michelle M
There is no way to overcome something like that without God.
BECKBY
Be patient and I know that is tough. Tell her that the man didn't hurt the part that you love-her heart! He physically and emotionally and mentally hurt her and you understand but he didn't hurt your love for each other and that is the important thing. Let her cry it out until she can't cry anymore and then tell her she has to be strong for her kids. She was strong enough to survive the two years with him and she will survive and live without him! If the kids live in fear or suffer from her hurt then the rapist wins again!! She has to survive for them and herself and you.Tell her to try to live daily and try to not let it hold her back. She cannot let him win over her whole life.If these kids are products of the rape you will both need professional help if you are planning on keeping them. You will not be aware of how you really feel and treat them until one day it will show up in their negative actions.They already have strikes against them and you and she may unconsiously hurt them or treat them differently than you would a child of your own. Be very careful with the kids because they are victims also!You are a victim also and you seem to be trying to be the hero. Don't let on like you can handle it all alone! You need help to be ok with all of it.You have to know the very best way to take on her problems with the terrors and how to work with her toward success. You will need to learn to watch for issues you never intend to have happen in dealing with kids.You have signed on for a long heavy journey and need to know the best way to handle things so you don't lose it and walk out on her and the kids. That would be devasting later for them all.Make sure you can handle it by getting help! Ask God for the strength and pray daily with her and the kids. Read the Bible for direction and rely on God for everything. Thank Him for every good day and nights that she gets to sleep through without terrors.I will pray for you all now before sending this.God will get you through this if you give it to Him.If you need to talk you can contact me and I will listen.I advise you to seek out professional therapy for everyone. God is blessing you for standing by them! Best wishes!
parrothead2371
I am so sorry to hear about your fiancee. I would say get her into a counseling program for PTSD. I commend you for wanting to help and standing by her.
Re
Be strong for her. it seem like you really care about her. To wanted' to adopted her kids is great/ but there is some help that is needed. You and her go to counselor together. Not her alone. whatever is going on keep your eye open at all time. She could be subdued at all times. I wish you all the luck to stay in there for here.
love2jack4you
First of all, don't listen to JackB, the second answer on the board here.....I mean there are questions being asked on Yahoo which deserve the stupid answers, however, yours is certainly not one of them.
Second of all, don't listen to any of these religious fundamentalists on the board. Religion is good for many things, however, this type of trauma needs to be solved, not further traumatized by religion. Don't get me wrong, I love God, but I HATE religion, especially those that push there religion on people.
As others have said, YOU should go see a counsellor to inquire about a program or treatment plan to get her involved with.
She will ultimately need to re-program herself to overwrite the vivid images still engrained in her mind. The only way she is going to be able to do this is with a professional who leads the way down the path of re-programming.
It sounds to me that the one positive is going to be that after all is said and done, you, your fiance, and the two boys will be on your way to starting a family.
Also, you may want to check with a lawyer to see if he/she can represent you in court so she would not have to see that pile of puke ever again.......hopefully he got gang-raped in prison so many times that he talks with a high pitch in his voice.
stargaze626
Going to counseling with her is a definate must and most everybody is already saying that. Something else is to allow her to tell you what happened as she is able...not all at once or on your schedule. Let her know that you love her no matter what and that you are there for her and that you will be there if this is in fact where you are at. Reassure her that nothing that happened to her was her fault. Be strong for her. I feel for you and wish you all the best
myheartisjames
i never went through that much trauma and i have PTSD....from being raped also...but only once... i thought my eldest son was a child of the rapist...but he turned out not to be...but i blieved it until the child was about 8 or 9.......
i benefited from therapy, meds, and EMDR........
try to get her into these things.... she shouldn't have to live this way......
Clarkie
I am totally unqualified to answer your questions, but I'm so very sorry to hear about this awful thing that has happened to you and your family.
I think your fiance will need years of counseling and therapy to move forward in this, possibly the children as well, if they are old enough to have recall.
You're a brave and true friend to be there to support her through this terrible thing.
SpermFeather
In a similar situation..... it helped her when she told me about all of the situations in detail..... this was done over almost a year and it ******** felt like it hurt me as much as her when she told me. Our relationship couldnt have been any better and stronger after that and when she would start thinking about it... we would stop.... talk about it and take control over it together. It would always end up as her crying in my arms uncontrolably. And yea... be afraid of what you'll find out. I was, and it really kills you to hear it... like i would have to tell her to stop and i would leave then come back...
this is the real world
ashleybenakis
Your fiance needs to seek professional help. The only thing that will help is to talk about it. Don't try and pry into this on your own. If she is willing to talk about it then listen compassionaltely. And when she is finished, hug her. Only hug her.
I think it is best to let a professional handle it.
I am so sorry for your situation, it is really sad.
Good Luck.
l'il mama
I was almost murdered in my home 2 yrs ago and suffer the same. I was put on meds but that just increased the symptoms. The best thing I did was EMDR through a counselor. this helped me to file the intrusive memories properly and worked in a short period of time. I go to accupuncture for emotional well being and this has really been a miracle to me. EMDR is the most effective way to return to normalcy. She has to deal with this or it will haunt her and rule her life forever. Please get off meds if on them because they only increase symptoms of depression and suicidal thoughts.
EDtherapist
I would recommend finding therapy for her, but also, find a therapist for yourself...you deserve help too!
I would highly recommend finding a therapist who specializes in the treatment of trauma. When someone has experienced a lot of trauma, their central nervous system is constantly activated. It can be difficult to regulate emotions, and they may feel anxious and unsafe much of the time. There are various techniques that a trauma specialist can use to help discharge some of that stored traumatic energy (that lives in the body). Such techniques include EMDR http://www.emdr.com/q&a.htm and Somatic Experiencing http://www.traumahealing.com/registry.html
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