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Would you turn in your own sister if she was abusing her children?
I did...I spoke up...and now I am the bad guy in the family. I still think that I did the right thing. By the way, the abuse was of a mental/psychological and verbal nature, and I would catagorize it as severe. Additional Details
Thanks, everybody!
I watched my sister do this for over ten years, not only to my nieces but to everyone in the family. The reason that I didn't speak up sooner was because she kicked me down so much (add to the list that she is a terrible control freak, pathological liar, etc.) and I was afraid of her just like everyone else. She is a toxic person.
I did work up the strength to confront her first and it all blew up in my face. Not only did she deny everything, but she claimed that I was making everything up. I gave her a chance to get some help, and then turned her in (which did nothing, by the way!)
I just love my nieces and haven't seen them in two years because I am not allowed to. Meanwhile, the abuse continues... The few family members that were brave enough to also confront her are also not allowed any contact.
I just wish that I was the one who had children... :(
yes and I did before too. You did the right thing.
dogluver8906
i called CPS on my older sister before too. What you did was the right thing, despite what your family might think. Children should never be forced to suffer by being abused verbally or physically. Abuse is wrong any way you look at it.
goldwing
Were there no other ways to handle the situation?
BroncosD
hell ya, you are actually helping ur sis by doing it, problems can never go away unless you face and defeat it. YUou did the right thing, congrats. I hope the "ban" by ur family comes off soon.
Tact is highly overrated
good for you! Unfortunately, making a stand will always require some type of sacrifice. The rest of your family has to know deep down that she was abusive if it was as severe as you say. They should come to terms with it. Keep being there for your neices and nephews, they need all the good parenting and loving that they can get.
JEFFBEV
Absolutely. The children need to be protected. There is something wrong with an adult who knows about child abuse and doesn't say anything.
bettyboop
yup.
Mama Pastafarian
You did the right thing. Those children deserve better than to be abused, and they will love you since you made the moves to protect them.
minus
yes out of protection for the kids.
Katie
ya
byderule
well have it out with her and get a counsilor involved
one should not wash the families dirty laundry in public if it can be avoided
so if possible the family should try to handle it first
lover of Jehovah and Jesus
you did the right thing
twizzlejay
You bet I would. That should be a no-brain answer right there
yahoogirl!!
been there done that it is hard but children should always come first!!
zuriel
dont stop trying to get her help, as she will loose her children for good, and if she does not get help, you need to get the family together and make it a group decision, to turn her in, do not do it on youre own, further talks should be accompanied by family members, other wise there will be severe mental problems to the children, if not already, and who knows what they will become in society......Lives wasted, maybe together you can recommend a good counselor first, dio not let this go........good luck, she may need some speirtual help also....
lilacmom1956
You were absolutely right. Some professionals (counselors, teachers, social workers, and doctors ) are "mandated reporters", legally responsible to report suspicion of abuse. But for you to report your sister (or even a neighbor or casual acquaintance) of suspected abuse takes courage.
Your state has an investigative unit; you can report anonymously (although, as you found out, sometimes people figure out who reported them anyway). The agency has guidelines or criteria for what they will investigate; other times they just take a report and keep it--kind of keeping an eye on the alleged abuser, in case another concern comes in another time--kind of monitoring the person based on the previous report.
Anyway, yes, you did the right thing. Whatever the outcome, if you had genuine concern, you followed your concern. And if the sister keeps the kids, she could be ordered to anger management or parenting classes or to counseling, and that might help her life as well as the children's, in the future.
binoxi
I think that these days it is definitely hard for people to step up and say something to people who are abusing their kids verbally, but everyone steps up for physical abuse. Verbal abuse is harmful to anyone and can lead people to live in a psychotic state. People tend to turn the other cheack to verbal abuse towards kids because they believe that it isn't their business. Because you are a relative it is easier for you to be able to stand up for your family, adult or child, and I commend you for making a difference in that child's life!
pauliegone
Your darn right I would! If it's as bad you say, you did the right thing. Hopefully everyone will realize you did the right thing.
Dawn A
yes I would at first i would speak with her about it but if she did not change her actions then of course i would turn her in!
you did the right thing regardless what others may say,your looking out for innocent victims of abuse worse than being physically hit the scars would be carried by these kids for life:):):)
bolandalbaby@verizon.net
definitely, you did the kids a huge favor
Angela B
I work in a field where if I had knowledge of child abuse, I am obligated to report. It is a very sensitive thing to do and any such decision should be weighed carefully
My strategy is that I would discuss the issue with the alleged offender first and provide some support and options. If it continues, I would have to report and the person would by then be aware this is my obligation to do so.
[♥]
duh stupid!
bballgrl
deffinitly! family or not its wrong
ye_river_xiv
You did the right thing. I myself probably wouldn't have the courage. Thankfully, there are no kids, and no abuse in our family at the moment.
Lucille
In a way you should of spoken to her. IF she was beating the **** out of them then you did the right thing I only wish some body did that for me. Never regret what you do If you do it with your best intentions at heart.
cswags00
YES you were right. NO kid deserves to be abused in any way. YOU did the right thing regardless of what your family says.
Molly P.!
I would!
You did the right thing, believe me!
Sandy
Yeah I would.
Jenn
You are awesome. You definitely did the right thing. It would be very very hard to do something like that, but you did the right thing.
Julia L.
Yes, I would have turned in my sister. Those children will thank you for saving them from years of abuse that could potentially have escalated later in their lives. You did the right thing, and if your family can't accept that, then that's their problem.
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