I'm probably being a pain in the ***. I just don't know what to do. My family, friends, school... all meaningless, so not supportive. I can't find happiness. Been depressed for years ...
I've been incredibly depressed as of late; I cry daily for hours on end. My girlfriend dumped me; I suffered a back injury which squelched any chance that I had of playing baseball in college; ...
I have my own place, car and a job, not much money and sometimes no money, no girlfriend and no out life, like some people but i cant stop thinking about killing myself and ending this **** life, i ...
i'm feeling very suicidal right now and need someone to talk to.
my family call me fat all the time and i weight 110 pounds and i'm bulimic too ( eating disorders run in my family ) ...
if you committed suicide, but you believed in god, what do you think would happen? and assuming heaven and hell is real, do you think you could still go to heaven?...
Everything that could go wrong in my life has and i'm constantly plagued with suicidal thoughts. I've read other comments about this that say "take up a hobby" or something, but i&...
i pull out my hair and i think i have this condition called trichotillomania where you pull out your hair to relieve stress, and i was wondering if anyone else has this, and if they do, could they ...
i have severe depression and major ODD. i cant get along with anyone in my family, i only have two good friends, and my medication does NOT work. im in DBT group and therapy but that dosent seem to ...
Should people who hit themselves, seek help as much as those who cut? Or should they keep quiet as its more likely to be ignored and it isn't as harmful?
My aunt and best friend past away on 4-27-2007, and it's been very hard for me. Sometimes, I am in a good mood, thinking and laughing about the fun times we had, but then I realize she's ...
Jebbie
Can anybody say something good?
I am really alone right now. I have nobody to talk to. I am so upset and depressed about being alone. I am in love with someone I see everyday and I can't take the feeling of rejection anymore. I have to see him every day i go to work. Leaving my job is not an option. I am 36 and have never had a relationship. I think it will never happen. I feel like all the good things in my life don't matter. Even if I get over him I feel like I can't stand to imagine going through another rejection again. I am seeing a psychiatrist and on medication, so please don't tell me to get help. I am just hoping someone could say something kind . Has anyone gone though this? I have never met anyone my age who has never had any kind of relationship whatsoever. Additional Details
He told a friend of mine that he 'can't' give me a chance because he 'does not want a relationship and is working on something else.' That sounds like he is working on another girl, to me... Oh well. :(
I can tell you that as alone as you're feeling right now, you are never actually all alone. Whether you call it God, or an energy, or higher power, something greater than yourself has put you here by no accident. You are also not the only one who's been without a relationship at your age. I have a friend who's almost 40 and other than crushes, shes never been in a relationship. She hurts sometimes, as we all do in our own little hells (or so I call them). I'm sorry for your suffering. If you haven't seen this movie yet, I urge you...no, I beg of you to watch it and give it a chance. It's called "The Secret" and you can view it for free at www.wegotshows.com/movies/the_secret.htm...
However, I just attempted to re-watch it and the website seems to be running slow right now, but you could pick up the dvd or the book. It's definitely a self help tool for sure! Also, if you have time, please check out one of my questions on yahoo answers which was " Why can't I let him go and finally move on with my life?" I know we do not have the exact dilemmas, but the answers that I received were very helpful to me and may just help you a bit as well. It always seems to help me to read other peoples stories...helps me feel not so alone in my pain. You sound to me to be a very beautiful, compassionate, worthy person who deserves to be loved...and YOU ARE LOVED!
I wish you the very best in your search for him! Neither you nor I will end up alone if we don't want to be!
Blessings to you sweetie:)
IM LDS
We all go through lonely times in life, even when we appear to have everything and everyone around us...so don't believe your alone. Sounds like you haven't met the right person....get out more and try to start making new friends, and relationships will come along with. Only one suggestion for the moment....watch Joyce Meyers on TV...she's a minister and has some of the easiest, best teachings I've ever heard and has written many books, etc., on what your describing. You'll feel instantly uplifted from her, unless you hate God, which i doubt. As remember the saying, it too will pass....which is stated to people in severe pain to remember that everything does pass in time and what your feeling now will not always be what your future holds. Good luck and start by taking baby steps right now, give yourself some time and be patient, and pray....your life will change before you even realize it!
kiratess
I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. The good things in your life DO matter. I am sorry you have never had a relationship and that you feel alone. Have you thought about helping someone in need? That's what I do when I get down. I know that if I help someone else it will bring me happiness. 'There is more happiness in giving than in recieving'. You are so involved in your problem that you are not seeing the little things that are beautiful in life. Don't let life pass you by. Life is short and you should find some way to find happiness right now, even if it means putting off that relationship for now. I too, hate rejection. I will purposely not ask someone to do something with me because of the fear of being rejected. So do something nice for someone else! That will definitely put a smile on your face and warmth and a feeling of purpose in your heart.
Hope this helps and I hope you can get through this!
MSB1963
Jebbie Hon, don't despair. There were a few things I was going to tell you, but I take this site pretty serious and usually read the other answers first. In any case, somebody has already offered for you to pour your heart out (serenity) and I was going to do the same. But I am going to put my 2 cents in regardless.
You are doing everything right. Like you said, you are in therapy already and you are also on medication. I suppose it is in the form of anti-depressants, as you seem very depressed to me. Just hang in there, Sweetie. Better days are ahead of you. After all, it is in the valley we grow (meaning that we learn most from the times when we are down or hurt, or both). I am not going to "throw" scripture at you, as I don't know what your take is on that. I do trust God, or I'd given up on many things, mainly life, as I really have gone through so much in the past 5 yrs. I know what I am talking about. I've been involved in two serious accidents, am a single Mom and spend most of my days in bed, since the accidents left me disabled. My days are filled with excrutiating pain, that even the strongest opiates can't get a handle on, unless, of course I want to totally over-medicate myself and turn into a zombie. Well, being a single Mom, that's not an option. However, having to live on disabilty income alone and trying to raise a teenage son at the same time, is definitely difficult, especially if there is no real hope for medical improvement. Hon, I am not trying to tell you or bug you with my life, which seems so bleek right now; I am merely trying to show you that you too can make it. I have, unlike you, been in relationships, even been married for 10 yrs., and while I am lonely as you know what right now, I'd much rather do it this way than to "settle" just to be with someone and end up even unhappier or worse, getting hurt (physically as well as emotionally) What I am trying to get at, is to tell you that depite all of what you are feeling right now, life is a gift. It is beautiful and for someone as nice as you, it will surely "pick up" when the time is right. Jeb, you have a job. That's a plus all in it's own and I am proud of you for not giving that up and deciding to stay home to "put your head in the sand". If this guy that you have these feelings for doesn't feel the same for you, then it is his loss! Be glad that he doesn't just take advantage of the situation or you, knowing full and well how you feel. Rather, try to be happy and appreciate that he seems to "reject" you, cause if he acted like many (not all!) men do in this situation, and see their chance in getting you "into the sack" and then drop you. That would be so much worse. Even at 36, no, especially at 36, you are, believe it or not, about to approach the prime of your life and the right one will come along. Just please, please don't "settle" just to escape loneliness. That's almost always a sure way of setting yourself up for failure and deeper hurt than you are feeling now. I know, from experience more than anything, if you are patient right now, you will be rewarded in the long run. And having never been in a relationship only means that you simply haven't found the right one. That says more for you than you are ready to admit at this time. Try to stay as busy as possible. During downtime, try to find a hobby to keep you occupied. Have you tried swimming? Not only is it great for you, the best form of exercise in the world, but you might even run into "the one" while at the pool. Again, hang in there Jebbie. Better days will come... Take care and be patient. In the end, you'll be happy you waited and didn't settle just to escape loneliness. MsB.
Tootsie
Sweetie I feel ur pain. I really do. I'm also in therapy for depression, but what we have in common is that I'm 24, in college and am the spitting image of the movie titles "never been kissed" and " The 40 yr Old Virgin ."... Minus the 40 yr old part. I can't meet anyone for the life of me. My suggestion is to really get active in something. Think of thinks u use to enjoy whether its sports, writing, music. Take some singing lessons, writing lessons, join a sport. Anything ur heart desires. It a great way to get unstuck from that pity feeling and u'll be around people that u can possibly build friendships w/.
Even if its just getting involved w/ ur church. Now is the time for u to do something for u! UR LIFE IS NOT OVER OR ENDING, UR LIFE IS CONTINUING. Its time to make the best of it for u and no body else regardless of loneliness, depression or anything else. Just say "so what, I'm gonna do it anyway!" "I'm depressed and lonely, but I'm gonna do something for me anyways!" Think of it this way, if u get active and make outside connections then great, if u get active and start enjoying life and u again great, if ur still unhappy and it doesn't work out, then at least u tried and ur not going to be any worse than u r now. Take my advise and do something fun and exciting for the pure joy of it. Take up painting, pottery or anything at all even if u say "well I could never do that!" So what try is any ways. Create the solutions around r blocks. For example if ur heart desires to dance, I want u to make a list of ALL the reasons u think u can't do it. Even if its about time, money, finding a place, just make that list and then look into is and see if u can do it. Don't stop urself before starting. Find solutions around the blocks u create. And most of all have FUN. Don't take everything seriously or literally. I do send u my love and support. XOXO.
jamesnimbus
You can talk to me also my avatar should have my yahoo email adress. Cheer up!!!
Well first thing is you need to do is stop being so down on yourself. You need to start thinking more positively of yourself. Guys like women who are confident and not afraid to show it. Go out on a shopping spree, go get a new hair style buy some new make up. Then grab a friend and go out on the town. Go to places where you are most likely going to run into a guy you may find attractive. Sitting at home and worrying isnt going to solve your problems. I am sure you are a very pretty girl you just have to stop being so down on yourself all the time and work on being positive.
atiana
sweetheart, I'm so sorry that you're feeling alone and depressed, and like the right man will never come along. but things are going to get better, I promise. and the right man for you will come along. things don't always happen when we want or expect them to. so don't you dare give up. just look forward to better things happening in your life. don't dwell on the past, and don't be afraid of the future. God loves you, and He has a plan for your life. and I know that He listens when we pray. and I know that He answers our prayers. He may not always answer them the way that we think He should. but He answers them in the way that is best for us. so, instead of looking at things that have happened in your past, and thinking that you're never going to have a relationship that works, look to your future, and know that God understands everything about you, and He knows exactly what kind of man you need in your life. and He will make a way for that special someone to come into your life at just the perfect time for you.
I don't have any doubts about it at all. I know that God is always in control at all times, and I know that He loves you!
I watched a very dear friend go through almost the exact thing that you're going through right now, and it broke my heart. he went through rejection, lonliness and depression, and I tried my very best to help him, and at times I felt helpless. but in God's perfect timing, the right woman for him came into his life, and I've never seen him happier. and the same thing will happen for you too. just have faith, and never give up!
you are a wonderful person with so much love to give! and your mr. right is out there, and you will find each other! just have faith!
I will be praying for you.
MimÃ..ツ
Awe don't feel bad,
Just think positive :)
on_bl0odzsz
I love you everyone needs to be loved.... theres plenty of fish in the sea!!
jake
u can email me too and talk don't worry u have alot of ppl
Sir Readalot
If it makes you feel better, most of my relationships with women have been shallow.
Kaatp
Well, if you can find any condolence in this crap, I on the other hand have been married four times. Out of those four marriages I managed to have three wonderful children. Someone asked me the other day what I collect and I said "Men".My point is that I don't think that I am any happier than you are. They are there. Just relax and find yourself first. Then the one will find you.
David J
Every person has ups and downs in their life. Your still young enough to find that special person. You have had no special relationship? In our life which I now see as being a blessing, through six knee operations including a right knee total knee replacement. We meet certain people who do not respond because they do not know your feelings. To suffer in silent depression is a waste of time. I have been their and done that. I always liked this beautiful Blondie from southern California. I always had feelings for her but she was dating someone else. Like most people I have a code of honor I live by. I do not hit on a friends girlfriend even if I knew her first. She now refuses to speak to me because she stated she loved me too much to just be friends. The point is simple to me. Does the man your attracted to know how you feel? If not try and engage in a conversation and find out what he likes. Find out what you can about his interests and then approach him with some questions on sports or what it is he likes. After awhile either he will pick up on you or at least you tried. Silent suffering does no one good.
crewchief1949
There is a song by Taylor Swift. Her video is on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7DRtl6CTqc
Check it out. She kind of goes through the same thing.
I related to this song also, when I was a youngster up until I was 29 when I met my wife, I never thought I would find the ONE. I find help in songs that I can relate to when I have trouble. Love in Jesus.
kckmellons
well i can relate to feeling alone, my husband is gone all the time driving truck. however, if you are in love with this person talk to them. you don't have to confess your love right away. just get to know them and talk to them. they might enjoy talking to you. you are probably a great person and just don't know it. and just think your fear of rejection is depriving the world from getting to know you. i used to call myself a rejection junkie because i would alway wear my heart on my shirt sleeve which is not good either. but put yourself out there a little at a time and get to know some people. hey i am always looking for new friends so feel free to message me i would love to hear from you. i am home alone most of the time too. good luck and remember youare a beautiful person weather you know it or not.
vito b
I always believed that those medications used for (what I'm guess is) depression have some really BAD effects, espeically like triggering more depression. Maybe you should get off of them? But that's medical.
Don't feel left out! So many people, and I know plenty, are in their thrities and have an emotional breakdown. It's called a midlife crisis afterall. Maybe what you need is some sort of passion? If relationships arent happening, why try to push yourself into one? It would be smarter to find a hobby, something to take up your time and give you something to look forward to. It could be anything, biking, travelling, watching classic movies, working out, reading..you name it. Find yourself something to be really interested in, some sort of passion. And with that passion ,you won't be thinking about guys, they might start thinking about you though. The best way to get someone interested in you is to be interesting, and the best way to do that is to be interested in something.
Find a passion/ hobby. It'll keep you happy and I BET it will bring good fortune, maybe even a hubby!
kemioshodi
You are beautiful in each and every way.
~~~NEVER FORGET 11,SEPT. 2001~~~
you will you cant rush it mr right is waiting for you somewhere
†�者Niks [child of Dhamma]
I went through depression when i was 12-15. I'm on medication aswell...but the meds and the counselling helped alot. I'm pretty over emotion too.
You'll soon be happy again, im sure you're a great person too.
I currently have problems aswell...that are making me depressed so you're not alone....
Family always help, watching funny films help, and listening to heavy metal. or any music that pumps the adrenilene for you.
So yeah...i feel for you aswell.
Try to have a great day..and remember you're not alone...and there are people worse off too...
wizard
hey Jebbie how but joke to cheer you up?
Bill Clinton and the Pope died and went to St. Peter.
St. Peter wasn't having a good day so he made a mistake and sent them both in the wrong direction: Bill to heaven and the Pope to Hell. Finally God catches on and tells St. Peter to fix things, so he calls them both back.
The Pope breathes a sigh of relief, and says I'm so happy, now I finally get to meet the greatest of my faith: the Virgin MaryÂ?.
Bill replies "You're too late"
jimi m
u not alone i am with u
freshbliss
Check out the book "he's scared, she's scared" on amazon.
It made a lot of sense to me -
Here is something good.
You have sight in your eyes, and breath in your lungs.
The earth will still be spinning in space tommarrow and water will still run down hill.
As long as you are willing to change, things can.
It takes time, but tomarrow holds the promise of a new day
and a new life can commence one foot fall forward at a time.
Just keep plodding.
Kimmie
Guys don't know what they are missing!
Just remember you are not alone. There are many women who are single and feel the same way. You will find someone someday that will make all this waiting worth it. Hang in there hun!
Serinity4u2find
You can talk to me whenever you want, just click on my avator and email me. You need to give yourself a break. You also need to stop overwhelming yourself. Try looking at the good things in your life. You have a good job, you know that you can care for someone, you are in therapy so you know you know how to protect yourself and take care of yourself, you know what you want out of life, you are willing to reach out, and you have hope. You are an amazing person who is analytical and introspective.
Make a list of the things that are bothering you and then write next to them whether it is something that you have control over or not. Remember you are powerless over people, places, and things. You only have control over what you do and say.
You have feelings for this guy and it's not working out. That's ok. Everyone has loved someone who didn't feel the same way. You are not alone. You will meet someone, when you are ready to. I am the same age as you are. I didn't get started in my life until late. I am now single and have no kids. But I am happy and thankful for the things I do have. If you want to talk email me.
Katherine D
Want the truth? Every person past the age of 12 has gone through this and don't believe anyone who tells you different. As humans we seek comfort and solice in social settings, whether it be friends, co-workers, family or a future partner. This is entirely normal.
And, when confronted with the dreaded "what we can't have" we have all fallen victim to utter heartache, the bitter acceptance of what will never be, could never be yet may have been.
It is akin to many other facets of life, like not-so-pretty girls wishing they were prettier. It is akin to a short man wishing he were taller. Or a sick child wishing "if only" it wasn't them. Or it is akin to a girl so desperately wanting to be a pilot for her entire life, only to be told that it was a passion that will never, ever be realized. And all these things hurt, and at some core level seem to destroy all our faith in age old sayings like if you try harder good things will come, or that perserverance can overcome anything, or that good things will come to good people.
But, yet, we try, we push, all to no avail, our hands left empty and our hearts sinking into a pit of despair that we truly wonder if we will ever recover to not only go on, but to - perchance? - to thrive?
This is a problem I faced for the first time long ago, as you have here, in relation to being in love with someone who did not love me back. And it made me wonder about the grand scheme of things, made me wonder about my purpose in life. But, moreover, it made me wonder if, just maybe, that this grand thing called love was but a special gift reserved for a lucky few and that I would truly never, ever be it's receiver.
And, if so, what is my purpose? How will I fill the hours? What do I do on holidays and weekends? And how, oh God, how will I fill the hours, weeks, and years of my life remaining?
But there is a relationship that you do have, one of love, which has been going on a very, very long time. And it is one of acceptance, of support, of laughter and tears. And it is the most important one you will ever continue to have should you live a thousand, million years.
It is the relationship you have with yourself.
Who are you? What are you? Are you a valuable person with endearing traits? Smart? Funny? Inventive? Peaceful and calm? The question is...exactly how do you relate to yourself?
Why do I say all this? Because like it or not, deal or no deal, take it or leave it there is nothing, absolutely nothing in this Heaven or Earth that you can do to make someone love you. It is the hard fact that, if you do not accept it, will swallow the next 36 years of your life, leaving the sad tale to tell of a person who had such chances, such opportunities, but they were all lost becaue of this one thing he/she could not have.
But the one option you do have here is to see that, regardless of this person in your life, you are valuable, you have merits, and you have such special gifts to bring to this world that if you do not, the world shall suffer from it and be a less good place to live.
Are you a person who deserves happiness? Do you deserve to feel fulfilled and worthwhile? Do you deserve to spend more time smiling than crying? Then show this to the most important person in the room with you at any given moment - yourself - and move on, to go out there and explore this entire world and discover, develop, and grow all those things inside you which, regardless of this person in your life, are there, have value, and MUST be used lest the world suffer for it.
Lest you suffer for it.
And when you find this within yourself, that you deserve more than doating on what will never be, and, might I dare say, discover that there are still so many wonderful things to experience I dare say then will come that thing that, honestly, we all seek and need above all - love.
So, is my answer unfair? Truly? Then ask yourself this. I have a niece born with a deadly illness to the point wherein the first year of her life she maxed out her insurance benefits, went on Medicare, has 30 operations just to save her life, and will suffer with a need for transplants until she dies, that is if she lives long enough to get to the next transplant.
She has never been in love, has never known someone to be in love with her. Does her life cease to have value, as she will never, possibly, live long enough for a man/woman to embrace her with unequivocable love and acceptance? Should she end it now, give it up, thrown in the towel and denounce her life as a sham?
No.
And neither should you.
Imagine you are looking for this bird, a rare, so very rare, special bird that, when you find it, your life will be fulfilled to such a degree that you could never have imagined. And you toil and work so hard for so many, many years to find this bird. And you thought you did, only it wasn't quite the bird for you.
But the thought of keeping trying is too much to bear. All your efforts may, again, come to not. You can't stand it, can't go on, can't stop crying for those wasted years.
But then you let go of this false bird, and dare to live a life imaging a future. And you toil, though slowly at first, really not believing, living more out of habit than purposefulness.
But unless your hands - and heart - have been emptied of this false love there can be no room for that love that you so rightly, justly seek.
You have to let go.
And it will hurt.
And it will tear you up.
And you will think that you cannot go on.
And you will wonder "what I am for?"
And you will believe that all those good things in life are for other people.
But it is only by walking past the mirage of what we thought we were searching for, by going over that next blistery hill, no water in sight, no hope in sight, continuing to toil and walk and strain against all hope, that we can, then, finally cross into that valley where our oasis, our paradise, will be found.
But if you don't let go of this mirage, you will stay by its side and you will die - your heart will cease - and it was all for not.
Please keep walking. Please find that you are worth this risk, and another risk, and another risk after that. That you have such value and love to give that you must go on.
Why? Because, and this I promise with all my heart, there is your future partner out there, waiting, searching, wanting, lost from wasted toil, searching for you, so desperate in their heart to find you, and if you do not let go of this present your true, future partner will never find you, and you will both live a lonely life of what could have been, entrapped in a present that is only a shadow of what love had to offer you.
And how do I know? Well, since I was very young, in my 20s, I thought, I knew that I just was an odd duck for this planet. I didn't seem to fit. I just didn't see it every working out to find love. I seemed so different, that the only way to get any love was to foster a false image of myself just to have anyone, someone to hold onto.
And so I went through different relationships, and while all were not bad, none were that person. And sometimes, often times, I held on, could not bear another journey into the unknown, and wasted years and years and years and years. I even joked to myself that, with my luck, the man I was supposed to have married is probably on the other side of planet and, following further with my luck, probably just died about 20 minutes ago.
And you know what? After 37 years of pain and toil I found him, and he was on the other side of the planet! And he, too, it turned out, also has spent so long lost and feeling out of sorts with the world. And by the sheer grace of happenstance we came together and us two misfits have been having the time of our life ever since.
But this isn't an easy story, because I have been there, in that darkness right with you, of ready to give up, or knowing I cannot go on, enwrapped with false loves that barely answered the thirst I held.
And do I had to let go. And walked alone for a long, long time. I started branching out and doing things that I enjoyed, exploring me. And suddenly, by accident, there he was.
And, oh, thank God I kept walking forward, past the mirage, for if not I would still be there and my sweet, sweet husband would be alone, or in some false relationship, with his heart still wondering..."where is she? where is she?"
Good luck.
I truly, with all my heart, wish you out of this pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Homepage 
Health
Forum 
Mental Health 
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
