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How can I control my anger when it comes to my insane grandmother?
I live with my grandmother who has alzheimer's and dementia. She goes off on me alot and annoys me with hopes to make me mad. She thinks she's five or so, and I'm 17. I know I should know already how to control my temper with everything and everyone, but sometimes it seems so hard. I would never do anything to harm her, but sometimes I just wish I could put her in a nursing home, but there is no way I could ever afford that.
This would be a difficult situation for anyone take a deep breath when things get bad and remember how much you care for her ,and then think that could be you!! Good wishes from Dody.
Mr. Boodle McNoodle
listen I'm 17 too and I lived with my grandmother for about 2 months with her until she died about 2 1/2 months ago because of emphysema.. anyway she made me mad sometimes because she was mad at everything because of stress and the fact that 89 year olds don't have much patience. but she was one of the most precious people I ever knew and will ever know she was my rock, she paid for my school tuition and did everything she could for me because she loved me, but she did things that made me mad too like I wanted to stay out late on my prom night but she wouldn't have it and I was mad but it turns out she made one of my favorite memories with her I wont tell you because its personal but because I would have to act it out in person.. but anyway my point is don't worry about stuff like this, enjoy her quirks and forgetfulness(Alzheimer's) If she makes you mad just remember it could end tomorrow. So love her and give all the hugs in the world because God knows I don't wish I could have another prom night I wish I could have another day with my Grandmother.
Singapore_Lady
Hey Cool It
Like You Said
She Is Your Grandmother
Soo Relax
She Is Old Rite
Be Patience
Take Care
And Chill
tokala
breeze 3 times, with deep inhalations.
then count to 10
and breeze 3 times again
it'll help a little
Woodlouse
Hey, you're doing great, so please stay positive. Can I suggest a very crazy thing? Take a glass of water and speak very nice and peaceful things to it and ask it to remind your grandma who she is. Also, even if it's a little water, see if you can't ask her to speak to the water and say, Peace, Peace, Peace (or whatever you need for her to feel at that time - now don't get any rotten ideas, either!) and then ask her to drink it. Especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night. All Alzheimer's victims or potential victims and people who want to prevent this remember this formula. The best thing to say to the water is, "May God forgive all the sins of all believers in the hereafter." For you, you could ask the water to help you to maintain forebearance and patience. When Gran's in a better mood give her a little cuddle, too.
Sounds mad, but I don't think it's so mad.
kumar21054004
put her in oldage home.......
ThereseRose
If she has Alzheimer's, you may have no choice but to put her in one. Eventually, the disease will make it to hard for you to take care of her. I would check with the county health dept. on this one or one of those types of agencies. My friend's father had it and they eventually had to put him in a home. But they put his house and other assets in the daughter's name so the home could not take them away from the mother. They got the fee paid by some county dept.
grayxenon
a little love and understanding is what your grandma needs......
billybetters2
When you start to get upset you need to remember that this isn't her. She wouldn't act this way normally. It is the alzheimer's and dementia. She cannot controll what is happening and wouldn't want to be acting this way herself.
Gevera Bert
She isn't doing it on purpose. She's not trying to get you angry. It's not deliberate. Imagine living in a world where everything is strange and new and you can't really understand what's going on. It's terrifying for AD patients. Everything we take for granted, they haven't got anymore. If you can't find compassion in your heart for your grandmother then take a walk until you simmer down.
Schmitz
unfortunatly there is not much to do she is just going down hill which is depressing in and of itself to see a great person be affected so... Best thing to do is remember she cant help herself and to show her that you care for her....
WingIt
You are so young to be going through something like this. Are there any other adults in your household?
call 866.232.8484. this is to the Alzheimer's Association.
You need to do a Google search for the Alzheimer's association in your state. You need to get into a support group. Also, they have a toll free hotline 24/7 that you can call and talk to someone and they can offer you advice
lily
hey sweetie,
you have a lot on your plate. i would like to suggest getting on the internet or going through the doctor who sees her and getting information on groups that meet for the caretakers of such ppl. it sounds scary i know but there are other ppl who deal with the same thing and they can help give you ideas on how to handle situations. like survivors of sucicide have many groups to help them cope, so do adult children of alcoholics and there is alanon for the family and friends of alcoholics. there are also groups where ppl meet who take care of or are in direct contact with ppl who have dementia and alzheimer's
as far as already knowing how to control you temper, how the h#@* could you? anger is an emotion that covers up deeper emotions. if you are angry, try to look beyond the anger, deeper into the young person inside who is broken hearted b/c one of the ppl she loves and depends on can't take care of herself, b/c all of a sudden you must reverse roles and become the caretaker and its just not fair. (and by the way, it is OK to feel this way, you didn't ask for this to happen to your gramma, it isn't your fault and you are struggling just to manage yourself)
i pray that you find comfort in knowing that God put you here, now to care for your gramma, and even though you get angry and hurt, He believes you are the best person to do this.
if you ever want to chat, email me
lifting you on eagle's wings,
lily
lady l
YOU ARE IN A VERY DIFFICULT POSITION. DO YOU NOT HAVE ANYONE TO HELP WITH HER? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS TRITE BUT TRY TO BE KIND AND PATIENT. AND TRY TO FIND A WAY TO GET A BREAK FROM IT WHEN YOU CAN. GOOD LUCK.
Sally Can Wait
Is she your main caretaker? Because if you're living alone with her (god forbid your parents are dead), she has to be mentally stable to care for you. You're a minor. You're supposed to be taken care of, not taking care of your grandma. I'd call social services. But then you'd probably be put in a foster home. But by the time you got a foster family, you'd be like 19, so you could just move out on your own. I don't know how I can help, call social services. If you're living with her and your parents, then tell your parents to put her in a home.
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