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worried_me100
What should I have done about a Dr who keeps phoning me at home?
I started seeing a Consultant Psychiatrist about 2 months ago for an eating disorder. By the second session he was discussing aspects of his own life such as the fact he is studying for a Masters degree in the same subject I am undertaking at undergraduate level. The only difference is that he has absolutely no background in the subject he is studying for and was therefore struggling to pass.
After this 2nd session he telephoned me about 2days later whilst I was on holiday in Europe. I did not know it was him and picked up my phone and he was going on about his masters degree again. I was really surprised about the call.
Then last week he phoned me on my home phone [he got my numbers from my medical records] and asked me to go to his office and type up his dissertation as his secretary was away. I felt unable to say no [part of the reason I have an ED] and I ended up sitting in his office for about 5 hours typing up his stuff. After I had done this I was so upset.. continued below Additional Details because I had been referred to him for help and all he was interested in was his own course. The following day he phoned again about 12 times on my home and mobile phones. Then on Thursday just gone he phoned again. I had plugged out my phones but plugged it back in again when I was expecting a call from someone at 8pm. The phone rang at 8.10pm i picked it up and it was him again asking me to go back to his office to type again on Monday. I sadi no I am going abroad; he said ok then Saturday - I said I am meeting a friend.. it went on and on like this and he did not want to take no for an answer. The following day more calls and messages on my answering machine telling me to ring him and go to the office.
I have been left feeling really depressed by all of this but am in a difficult situation as they are the only providers of support for E.D's in my county. If I report him I will have no-one...
If he's compensating you for typing by money or free thearpy, I think it's fine. As long as you get paid. I think he is looking at you as an expert in the field and trusts your opinions. If you are uncomfortable, just tell him.
Rachel L
If its really bothering you then you either need to say something to him or just stop answering your phone when he calls and find another doc to go to for your ED
blob
He is being very unprofessional my lovely. You must report him to his head office or manager above. There is no way he can get away with this. Not only is he getting you to work for him for nothing he is not helping you with your illness, if any thing he is making you worse. It might pay to go back to your doctor who sent you to him and tell them initially what he is getting up to. You are supposed to come first with this, this idiot and he is no way making that the case or doing his job properly at all. Please, report him before he makes you worse. xx
caffsans
I think you had better not be doing any more for him =In a round about way he is hitting on you=As he is older than you,there is a legal charge that can be brought against him and that is harassment=this man isn't doing things right=he is supposed to be your Dr!!!!=I would hightail it out of there and find myself another Dr
Ambivalent Bittern PJA
It is simply shocking that any doctor would go so far beyond the ethical boundaries. Even if you find it hard to do for your own sake, please, please, report him before he abuses someone even more vulnerable than you are. Go to your GP if that's someone you trust, or go direct - see http://www.yourrights.org.uk/your-rights/chapters/how-to-get-redress/health-services/complaints-about-doctors.shtml which tells you how to make a complaint in the UK. I urge you to do this as soon as possible - this doctor is unwell and a danger to his patients.
J
it seems you are well aware your "doctor" has abused his power and this needs to stop.
You dont say where you are from, but you do say he is the only one able to treat you dor your ED, which I find hard to believe as he doesnt seem to be treating you at all!
You need to report him or he will think its ok to continue and will also abuse other patients in his care whilst continuing to make your life a misery.
You cant be from the uk as there are plenty of places you can be referrred to- when I was in hospital for my ED we had a certain amount of beds dedicated to other counties such as South Ireland and Wales where the treatment was far more scarce, (I was at the bethlem royal specialist inpatients for eating disorders) The same goes for out patients and I cannot but wonder if he has told you this so you wont think to challenge his abusive and out of order behaviour.
PLEASE see you gp (your health doctor who referred you to this man) and let her know whats going on, and ask for help again, I know its hard to do and it will get at you for a while, but this will be something you can work on when you see another therpaist /doctor, there are plenty of them out there if you just ask. If your doctor offers no other care or is not able to suggest another doctor (highly unlikely) then contact the genereal medical council.
Afew good websites to check out can be found via google by typing in eating disorders association and following any links from the eating disorders site.
You can get thrugh this, dont let him jepordise yours or anyone elses care.
CLICKHEREx
Find a new one. Write: "Your services are no longer required. Should you attempt to contact me again in any way I will make a formal complaint to the Police and the Licensing Board. A copy of this is being held by my lawyer, who also has copies of your prior communications to me, and you will also hear from them." This should get him off your back. Send registered/insured, so he can't deny receiving it! I fully agree with "lutl424" about the phone idea: good thinking! Made me edit. If he is the type to do this, is he the type to seek retribution, should you actually proceed with a complaint? Why take a chance on making one, when you can get what you want my way, and inform the board at a later date, preferably after you have moved?
wandera1970
Keep a record of the times and date he calls you. keep all messages that he leaves. Go back to the person who referred and ask for another referal with some one else. Also politely ask him to stop all contact with you and if he doesn't then take the record's of the calls and messages to you local Citizens Advice Bureau and ask for them to help you. They will have all the nesscary knowledge to help you make a complaint against him. You asked for help not to become a personal assistant. This Dr has gone way beyond his duties and to boot he is getting you to do his coarse work for him.
Ellye
Well, first of all that is not part of the doctor patient relationship. You should report him and go to a different doctor. That is not his place to talk to you about any of HIS personal goals or actions taken in his life. It's not your problem, that his secretary isn't around. Because you never know what he could be baiting you into. You know there have been cases of doctor's taking advantage of patients!!! And, I don't mean in the good sense, if you know what I mean. Look out for your personal safety first. That might also help you with your eating disorder.
chaz
ok this man supposed to be helping and he actually not. Ignore him and don't answer his calls. save the messsages he leaves and make a complaint and quick. he sound like a nutter to me. nhs.- what is it coming to.
lilian c
just report him to the medial board !or if you are worried about what he may do go to your GP and tell him, keep a record of all his phone calls as you will need them to back up your case, keep a dated diary of all of this as he is going too far,my husband was used by a student for help with research and the student behaved impeccably with my husband never calling at home!! it all sounds fishy to me get it sorted! good luck x
salvationcity
Honey, he's a nutter, a damned scary one at that. He's menttally unwell and you need to protect yourself. I know that sounds scary, but you have to do this.
He is employed by your local Primary Care Trust, stick the name of your town followed by Primary Care Trust into Google and you'll get all the details.
On their site there will be a 'Contact Us' section. Get the number, ring it and say you have been abused by your NHS psychiatrist, the abuse is on going and you're terrified. Believe me, they'll take you very seriously. If you want to throw buzz words around say the phrase 'safeguarding adults'. This is the name of the government legislation set up to protect you from idiots like this.
If you're not strong enough to make the call, ask any of your friends and family. They love you, they'll want to be there for you.
Please, please be strong and get this toxic waste out of your life, and everyone else's. Simply not returning his calls isn't enough, he's obesessed with you and he needs help.
xxxxxx
Erika
Well first of all just remember that if you need help then you can get a little help from other sources. You can see a regular psychiatrist and not just a student ya know. I know that this one might seem a little retarded but trust me here... see if you can find a small group in narcotics anonymous, they sit around and talk about their problems and even if their own problems don't pertain to yours, it's still all an addiction and it will help you. Those people will understand more than you think.
Now get some balls girl. You have to stand up to this guy and tell him that you know that school isn't easy but that he can't be using you like that. Just tell him to do his own work, you are busy and you won't help him to do his work. It's simple, I know it sounds hard but you have to stand up to him. There is no need to change your numbers, just tell him to stop calling you.
paperback_writer
DEFINITELY stop seeing this psychiatrist: his behaviour is totally inappropriate.
Go back to your original doctor, who referred you to this fruitcake, and tell them what's happening: insist on being referred to another psychiatrist. If you feel up to it, you might want to report this guy for harassing you - it's appalling behaviour and you have every right to feel stressed and upset. But it's not you - it's him.
sweetie
I think you need to find a new doc. Instead of helping you he seems to be making life harder for you. Don't feel bad about leaving, he is more interested in himself than you and helping you to get better.
Just read the rest of your question....I think you need to report him to his superiors. It sounds as if he is stalking you. I would get caller id (if its available) so you don't have to answer the phone unless you want to.
This so called MD is a quack and is not going to be able to help you. Contact your local health department they can direct you to someone who can.
Good luck and stay strong!
Gothsnookin
wow...he really could get in to trouble for looking up your num and using in that way... if i were you i would seek help somewhere else ... thats very unethical... if you want to be "friends" with him later on than so be it but he needs to know that you need a professional to speak to about your problems... I dont know why there is only one dr. in your county to handle this sort of thing...why not go to another county for help? And if the board knew what he was doing with his medical license he wouldnt be the only one in the county to go to anymore i can tell u that...and about your ED you will get through it i promise...it will pass for you if you keep trying... dont give up... and try to do some research on other dr's ...it would be worth the trip to go somewhere else if you were finally getting the help and support you need...the last thing you need is more stress!
insane_mad_maniak
I'd report him to a medical board, you better watch yourself around someone like that. sounds like a stalker to me!
lutl424
Wow! I can't believe your psychiatrist is acting like that...(I work in mental health as a therapist). Anyway, his behavior is so beyond okay....major violation of boundaries and ethical principles. You need to file a complaint against him with your state licensing board for his department. If he is a licensed psychiatrist, or even if he's not....he is working in the field and there are repercussions for such behavior. If you give me some more info. I can help you with how to go about filing the complaint. If it continues thereafter, call the police. DO NOT erase the phone messages. I would suggest plugging your phone back and allow him to call and leave messages. Otherwise, it's his word against yours...and you are, afterall, the 'patient'. Get the evidence you need ifyou already erased the messages.
From someone in the field who upholds ethical standards, I sincerely apologize to you for this persons' ridiculus and outloundish behavior....we are not all that way.
WICCA
Babe he is using you, go and complain about him to who ever is in charge!
He is using his license to manipulate you into doing his work for him, if I where you I'll find out where he is taking his masters from and write them a letter telling them about this idiot Dr. of your.
Ya do it, screw up his life because he is screwing with your mind.
PS Change your numbr and make sure its unlisted!
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