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lan_hakari
Why does my dad always torture me for math?!?
ima 13 year old girl, and in 7th grade. each time i get one tiny little bit of mistake in math? my dad yells at me like he was crazy, and he makes me do math problems that i did not even learn yet, and when i tried to answer them, i kno i got it wrong, and he just yelled at me agian until i cry. i hate this! its probrably because all my family members were good at math, and he kept toruting me..and i hate it. i kno i maybe wrong for thinking this way, but i tried to become better..i really did..but he just kept makin me cry and making me feel stupid for not knowing them..i really want to tell him that everyone has their thoughts, and i am not the one for math. but im just to scared..hes a very scary man..wut do i do..? do i keep taking this hell-like lecture forever? please help! =,( Additional Details i dont kno why..but i cry very, very very easily..even when he just comes into the room..i mean its like hes not my parent, hes just a scary man to me for some reason.. and i think i am actually close to my friends and sibblings then i am closer to my father, and i have divorced parents, so i i dont see my mother alot..so i can barley talk to her
he's obviously stupid and wants you to do better than he has in his life.....dont worry about it. and by the way....you never use any math other that simple arithmatic when you're out of school. x
Tom
he is doin dat so u can be the best in math if he is being to mean to u u shuld try to talk to him say dad im not good at it
tinab
my dad is like that to, i want the answer,lol
Ardley
if i had that... i'd just avoid doing maths as much as possible... and i'd put up with it sadly...
aerocutie
Parents can be weird like that sometimes. Maybe your dad doesnt think you are trying your hardest. Even if it is a little mistake, he probably wants to make sure you know the right answer. It will help you in the future.
Uncertain
Your dad's behavior is border-line if not full on abusive. We're only hearing your side, but bringing you to the point of tears over mistakes is not normal! You need to talk to your mom about this or another adult relative if possible, it is not likely you'll be able to stand up to him or change him on your own. Also try telling him that he's only making you dislike math even more by treating you that way, and that it's not right to make you feel the way he's making you feel.
Best wishes.
Stone Rockslab
Sounds like your dad is obsessed with you being perfect. Perhaps the school couselor can help him understand that not everyone is good in math, you excel in other academic areas. As long as you can do math you will be just fine in life. No one is good at everything for heaven's sake.
Curious.
tell him to leave u alone
i feel the same way
answerthis
Have an open discussion with your mom, trusted adult or school counselor about your problems with your dad. You shouldn't have to take his lecturing forever and you shouldn't try to deal with this on your own. Your dad is verbally abusive and he needs a reality check. Your mom or your school counselor should be able to handle the next course of action. Good luck.
confused!!!!!
i actually understand how you feel. When I was your age, my mother did the same thing to me. She would yell at me when I got a question wrong, even if I had never learned it. Math is a very important subject that will be used in life. I don't think that you don't actually understand the math, i think that the yelling just makes you nervous. If I were you, I would talk to him like an adult and say how you feel. You should tell him that you're trying and will keep on trying until you improve. By him yelling at you, it makes harder for you to understand. Just remember, don't yell at him. Talk calmly and everything will turn out okay. By the way, I'm not that much older than you so I understand how you feel. Just keep on trying!
Joe
Making you exercise your math skills an pushing you to learn more sound like qualities of a good concerning parent, who just want you to be ahead of the game. But your dad just sounds out of place.
I suggest thinking carefully what you want to say, and say it politely as possible. Don't lose your temper or get mad at him - pick the right time to say it and calmly tell him how you feel, and let him know that you understand his intentions, even if you don't, it's important to show that you understand him and where he is coming from for him to relate to you and really want to listen to what you are saying. Consider his personality and how he might take what you say and how you say it; always think about what you say before you say it. Throughout the conversation try to relate to him as much as possible, after he makes a point, then make your own. The most important thing is for both of you to be calm, and for this to not turn into an argument.
Do whatever you can to keep this a mature conversation. Remember, understanding is the key here: if you show that you understand him, then he should understand you. But if you start yelling at each other, then I guarantee you it will not end well. If that happens, or if tensions rise, I suggest trying to end the discussion as smoothly as possible, and apologize or admit fault if you have to - try again later. I'm 18 years old, and I am telling you this from experience with my own parents (and believe me, I have been through a lot with them).
You should also try different ways of showing him that you are really making an effort too, make sure he sees that you want to do better, and even make him think that you like it. Maybe ask him for help every once and a while when he isn't making you do it, so he thinks you have initiative to do it on your own.
Let him see you working on math when you don't have to so he might get to think he doesn't have to make you do it as much if he thinks you'll do it on your own. (I've done this with my parents- you don't necessarily have to be working, but keep something ready like pre-written and half completed math problems that you can pull out quickly when he enters the room so it looks like you've been doing it the whole time.) Try to make him feel like he is helping you, which will make him feel good about himself and improve both his mood and relationship with you. If you make him feel happy, it will be harder for him to get impatient with you or get angry.
If all else fails, and he honestly, like genuinely makes you fear for your well-being or personal safety, keep idea of calling the child abuse hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD) in the back of your mind. This would be a last resort, if even an option, for me. There are lots of other resources that might have some helpful information as well.
If there is someone you know personally that can talk to your father like one of his friends or anyone else in the family that might understand you better, you might consider asking their advice as an option as well.
I know this is pretty lengthy, but hopefully if you took the time to read it, something in here should be somewhat helpful.
Good luck. Let me know how things turn out.
:)
OMG MINE TOO.
during the summer he makes me do math labs. (hes a teacher)
he made me take algebra 1
urg it makes me soo mad. i know how u feel.
Marion F
Have you tried talking to your Mom? Is he this crabby all the time? Can you sit him down when he is calm and try talking about how he makes you feel. A parent who makes their child feel stupid isn't a good parent. Everyone has their strength and weekness when it comes to school. If talking to your mom or your dad doesn't work, try talking to another adult you trust. I wish you all the luck. Try not to let it get you down. Some adults are very narrow minded. Keep trying your best and thats all you can do.
duznt matter
dnt wry hun. i was the same way. so i just started giving him attitude and not going to him for help. i seriously would rather torture and teach myself then have someone yelling at me and trying to teach me. tell him to shut up and if hes not gonna help you in a nice way, then to not talk to you at all. worked for me.
LDB449
You dad is not treating you well and it shows by what you are saying. However he is your dad. You, I repeat you are doing nothing wrong. You have to in a forceful manner explain how much it hurts to be talked to the way he talks to you. Do this is private. He might stop it if he knows how much it hurts you. Blessings
Ferick
tell him if u were a boy then u can be hards like that but youre a girl and hes being to hard on u but maybe he doesn't want u to be like a bunch of people getting "F''s in math for fun and wants you to go to a good college
darlin
Maybe just say Dad, I try my best everyday, and I need more help from a teacher or someone who can explain it calmly. I do this sometimes to my own daughter and then I realized she is in a class more advanced than I ever was at her age. I told her I thought she was being challenged but I didn't want her to cry. I don't understand why Math instructors send home so much Math when they should be doing it there at school where the professor can help them.
Maybe just try the practice problems, the ones that have the answers in the back, see if your answers match and try a few of the same kind of problems. It's not easy to everyone but Math is something that when you spend more time over and over it just CLICKS! And it feels so dang GOOD when you finally understand it and then your like OH WOW How did I not GET IT???!!>!>!>!>!>>!??? It is a repetitive thing, spend time alone and with friends in your class over the phone talking about it. To be honest, you really need Dad to calmly sit down at the table and explain it slowly. I think that you'd get it. My 13 year old daughter is in 9th grade Math and it's insane the homework they give her. I don't like it AT ALL! She is awake till 12 midnight working on MATH! Maybe do the ones you understand and only come to Dad with the ones that confuse you. Ask him for a half hour of his time because your teacher runs out of time in class to explain it all, and that your not in class working on this assignment so there is no one to ask.
legendofslipperyhollow
Talk to your school counselor about this. Maybe you can get some help with letting your dad know how you feel. I'm sure he loves you and wants you to do well. He is just frustrated because he doesn't know how to help you, and he is really trying to do so. Your counselor might also be able to help you get some extra help at school with your math. Good luck!
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