kurleylovescheese
 |
i know, the rest of the world goes on and your screaming into your pillow. |
|
phlodgeybodge
 |
They're not grieving and don't understand that for some people it can take a longer time that your staff handbook says it should. |
|
Bob The Builder
|
Its something you never get over, my mother died in 1997 and I still miss her and think about her everyday, People are not trying to be cruel they just don't understand what you are going through. You will have to try your best to cope with the way things are, and try to get on with your life. I am sure your mother would not want you to be unhappy all the time. I wish you all the best for the future and just to let you know things do get better. Bob...... |
|
MayberryNR5
 |
People are dumb. But I have not had the death of a parent. I wish I knew what to tell you. This may sound odd..but maybe if you found a greif support group..usually they have free ones at hospitals or churches.
GOD BE WITH YOU! |
|
munchie
|
hi Hun i am sorry for your mum people grieve different ways are these people family members seems to me like there in denial they way there coping is to get on with life etc and keep inside you on other hand seem bit like me i cant keep my feeling inside or makes me poorly if you feel bad see Dr he can get you a councillor who can help you good luck has time goes on the pain will go but you will never for get your mum xx |
|
mark790@btinternet.com
|
all i would like to do is a apologise for the ignorant people around you. please except my condolences |
|
Sandy Sandals
 |
People are probably assuming that you are further along in the grieving process than you are. It's seems that you are seeking comfort from outside sources and being disappointed, only delaying your recovery more. It's all a process and I'm sure one day you will be able to look back on your mother's life with happiness and not sadness. Until then maybe you should contact a hospice group in your area. They often have grief counselors and support groups that are free. |
|
wisechineseguy
|
People have short memories. |
|
Bertie
|
Been there lost my mum to breast cancer, a few years back. sorry to here of your loss. i have found that people dont know what to say incase they upset you so they say nothing to be on the safe side.Talk to a friend at work or your direct boss to discuss any problems you are having coping it takes time for things to get back to anything like normal. everyone is different and deals with things there own way. if you feel uncomfortable this can also be a form of bullying at work.and could be dealt with through your work disciplinary code. good luck for your future....chin up |
|
Missouri LitWit
|
What you have to realize is that people grieve in different ways. Your coworkers and friends may believe that it's best to drop the subject and let you go on with your life. Obviously you feel differently and would prefer that everyone still show their support. I hate to say it, but it's probably best to try and move on. Deal with your pain but try not to make yourself miserable. Just because others don't hold on vocally doesn't mean you can't continue to show your love and respect to your mother. If it helps you to talk about it, you might reach out to a grief counselor so that other peoples apathy doesn't get to you. Try not to take your grief out on those around you. Just because they aren't openly speaking of your mother's death doesn't mean they don't care. They just believe that your best interest is to keep moving and not be constantly reminded of the loss. You're going through something painful, and that can cloud your judgment and make you feel alone. Try to find some help dealing with it. Best of luck to you. |
|
♥Puppy Toes
|
I'm sorry. It's not that they're fed up with you. People forget and get back in the grove of thinking about themselves. I've heard this from a lot of people (lots of support at first and then it trickles off). They probably still wish you well but are just selfish (as we all are really). |
|
The Captain
|
They don't expect you to be over it, but they expect you to get on with your life and do your job like your supposed to.
People don't want to baby you, thats what spouse/family is for. |
|
voluptuous
|
Unfortunately Mrs P life goes on and people soon have to go back to concentrating on their own problems - you've been through an ordeal but you will get through it but you will have to find your own coping mechanisms and not rely on others - don't dwell on it i'm sure your mum wouldn't want that - good luck x |
|
cubalishus
|
I am really sorry for your loss, its so very hard when you lose your mom, I know for everyone who has lost someone it is hard, but losing your mom just feels harder and hurts so much more, when I lost my mom to breast cancer 7 years ago it was so hard, yes people were fairly supportive for a week or so, then they started crossing the road to avoid me, then they told me to pull my socks up and get on with it, then they said I was always so miserable lately and god it was 6 weeks ago can't you just get over it and get on with it, so hard and so unfair of people to be so insensitive like that, especially as those are the ones who would think the whole world had ended and not just their own world.
I know the world has to carry on and also that life has to go on, but grief hits all people differently and yours might not even have come out properly yet, as hard as it is, try not to let those people who seem to think you should just get on with things hurt you anymore than they have, just look at them with the pity they deserve for been so thoughtless and shallow about your feelings, I hope that one day no matter how long that might be, that your feeling much stronger and will be able to cope more than you can now, don't beat yourself up for loving your mom, not ever.
, |
|
catzrme
|
Unfortunately, people don't understand grief such as you are going thru. Some avoid by forgetting it ever happened. Hang in there. It was amazing to me when I had cancer how some friends disappeared, some people never mentioned it to me, etc. |
|
Not the one for you!
 |
Most people say "OH, I feel sorry for your loss" but really they don't care at all. Unless it happens to them, you may never expect people to be supportive of you expecially at work. |
|
april_83x
|
im so sorry about your loss and about the way people are being maybe they are trying not to bring it up so you dont think about it some people cant always be there in these situations as they dont know what to say incase they say the wrong things. |
|
willis_is_40
|
their probably just uncomfortable with situation and don't know how to act.maybe they are also trying to help you "move"on. my condolences and god be with you. |
|
g man
|
Some people dont understand until they have been through it themselves.I know.x |
|
Jude
|
That's quite a normal feeling when you've been through a bereavement. People expect you to 'get over it' when actually it takes a long time. Have you got any close friends who will be more supportive, and who you can talk things through with. If you're really still finding things hard after another couple of months, contact Cruse, for bereavement counselling, they're really good. Website below:
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ |
|
mike L
|
you wont be over that for a long time if ever. They are just people only real true friends would know a bit about how you are still feeling. Most people forget in a week when its not them. Hang in there and just take it one day at a time. Dont worry about them |
|
sweetlips06
|
sorry to hear you have lost your mother hun, the ppl at your work are typical of todays society, of course there is no time limit on grief & we all have diff ways in how to deal with it, i guess they r at a loss as what to say to u now. if they have given their advice & sympathy a few times it looks like u just ignore it they wont keep sayin it to apease you, not like a good friend would.may be vist your gp to refur u to cruise or a berevment counsellor. i lost my mum as a young child and always felt the loss no 1 can fill the gap she left but i bet its getting a little easier for u 2 handle already. so have hope and remember all the great things you have done together, memorys to make u smile, cherish them. |
|
flori
|
its sorry to know about your mom suffered of cancer.
but you know these days people are highly practical, have less emotions, or may be self centered.
but this fault of society we are living in. |
|
riloh keen
|
has anyone ever gone through that? what, you mean their mother dying? of course they have.
but if you mean short-lived sympathy, then yes, as well.
people understand you're mourning, and they try to sympathize, but their sympathy will only last for so long. the question is, how long are they supposed to feel bad and treat you with kid gloves?
the world doesnt feel your pain, so to them, it's no longer an issue.
i'm sorry if i sound cruel; i'm not trying to be. i know it's hard, but by the world moving on, it will help you to accept it, and move on yourself. (not "forget." people know you'll never forget, and they dont expect you to. but you eventually have to accept the truth, and continue with youre life. which you're obviously doing, if you're back at work. but still. i'm sure you know what i mean.) |
|
DAVID H
|
perhaps they don't want to keep reminding you of it, if you kept going on at me about a bereavement i would get pretty sick of you, everybody has to go through it at some point in their lives and time heals, you don't need constant pity. |
|
LZB217
|
I'm very sorry that people aren't being very nice to you. I know this must be very hard for you. One of my high school friends' mother died of cancer after we graduated. I know personally, I tried not to treat her "ackwardly"... I wanted her to feel normal as possible. Maybe people don't know how to act around you becasue they personally do not know how it feels to lose someone so close. Again, I'm really sorry to hear that people are being mean or ignoring how you feel. |
|
barson
|
my dad died a month ago. i think ppl expect u to get over things as they cant really put theirselves in ur situation. just tell them "hey im still hurting u know".
sorry about ur loss
keep ur chin up. easier said than done i know |
|
Jonathan
|
To them it's not important, they have their own little problems, whether they compare to yours is irrelevant - they're problems to them and it's all relative really. A good friend, well that should be different; they should care and be supportive. Maybe you're expecting too much from work colleagues, they're only there to earn a living after all. |
|
crissylizb06
|
I think grief is a very personal experience, when you first went back to work, everyone knew what to say and how to show support, but as time goes on people find it difficult to talk about your loss possibly because they have never experienced this, or because they are worried about mentioning it in case they upset you. Try to talk to a close friend about it. I'm very sorry for your loss. |
|
| |
|
Homepage 
Health
Forum 
Mental Health 
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
